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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (674)	9/2/2005 7:27:18 AM
From: Cage Rattler	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 6705

The Associated Press Friday, August 5, 2005; 11:00 PM PARIS, France -- Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time. Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de France. The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French authorities for over 75 years. Armstrong's girlfriend and American rocker Sheryl Crowe is quoted as saying "we use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they'd be ok throughout Europe." Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also physically searched Armstrong himself and found several other interesting items that they have never seen before, including a backbone and testicles.

To: Tomato who wrote (674)	9/14/2005 4:53:14 PM
From: Galirayo	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 6705

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says her body hurts, wherever she touches it. "Impossible!", says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast, and screams, then she pushes her elbow, and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams, then she pushes on her thigh, and more screaming. She pushes her ankle, more screams, and everywhere she touches, makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?" "Well, no," she says, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."