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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (696)	12/2/2005 1:39:26 PM
From: Galirayo	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 6636

A blond wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled, the blond moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heaven the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?" The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."

To: Tomato who wrote (696)	12/21/2005 12:05:41 PM
From: Galirayo	Respond to of 6636

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!" "What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look. "The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."