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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: arno who wrote (815)	2/19/2006 2:05:11 AM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Respond to of 1755

My wife left me...I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses--I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day when she came home from grocery shopping the receipt included $45 in makeup. I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!" She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you." I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!" I don't think she'll be back

To: arno who wrote (815)	2/27/2006 9:33:46 PM
From: arno	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

SEX and Popsicle.... John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot" he shouted. "A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by". A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company" he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike....." "The Coopers are having sex!!" Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!! "Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex??" "Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony with a Popsicle too."