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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: George Coyne who wrote (1021)3/7/2006 7:56:03 AM
From: Jagfan  Respond to of 1755
 
A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!"
The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind.

The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!" The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"



To: George Coyne who wrote (1021)3/7/2006 11:18:26 AM
From: Oral Roberts  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 1755
 
A guy is on the tee lining up to hit a shot from the red tees which are about 20' in front of the white tees. Just as he is about to swing the pro comes on the loud speaker and says would the gentleman on the first tee please back up to the mens tees. Guy glares at the pro shop and again lines up to swing when yet again the pro ask's him to back up to the mens tee. Guy finally loses it and screams at the pro shop, would the guy on the loud speaker STFU so that I can hit my 3rd shot.