GOD BLESS AND GOOD BYE
Title above and text below in Anthony's own words
SI Bob
On Friday, Sept. 7, 2001, my wife and I boarded a flight to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway, something we had done every now and then for the 18 years we've been together. On Sunday the 9th we flew back to San Diego. We then took the kids out to eat and then caught a movie. The following day, September 10, I did what I normally did. I got a cup of coffee and then headed to my trading desk in my home where I was met by my youngest son Samy, who would start off every trading day by tapping on my keyboards, zapping the screen savers on the many flat-panel monitors on my desk.
Later that day I headed to my office where my wife called me. She had been going through the mail and the statements for the kid’s college accounts were down again, making it the fifth month in a row. I told my wife that we should sell because we were headed into options expiration week and then October, a month that had been historically weak for the markets, and she agreed. I then asked Sean, my office manager, to get Smith Barney on the phone and sell. I then sent out an email to my site members as a courtesy.
The next day on 9/11 the markets never opened. On that day my wife and I held each other as we struggled to understand what is still incomprehensible. On that day we kept the kids home from school, and on that day we held them a little longer and tighter. On that morning, for the first time ever, where I was born would matter officially. None of us could have dreamed that day was the beginning of the end of our life as we knew it.
Today I make what may possibly be my last post on SI. This certainly will be my last post until oral arguments take place here in NY on my appeal. If in fact I lose the appeal, then this post will be my last ever. I will NOT be back trying to explain away my loss, nor will I attempt to demonstrate how 3 appellate judges of the 2nd circuit got it wrong.
If I lose I will be forced to serve another 61 months before being free again, and will desperately need that time to find out how and where I go from here. I will use that time to help my wife and kids go on without me and I'll use that time to reconnect with my children. My kids need closure, and an end to the tragedy of this case. I will need to learn to cope and channel the burning anger and sorrow I feel as I set out to forge a new life for myself, a very private life. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well this indeed did almost kill me, so I am anxious to see this through.
8 years ago, in August of 1998, I made my very first post here on SI, and on November 30 I created this thread. I had fond memories of the bubble as it inflated itself and we shorts stood up and took a beating now and then, only to be proven right time and time again. I was right here screaming at full volume as it grew, I was here when it burst, and I was here when it further deflated, proving us all right. I started something that at the time was unheard of. I posted my entry and exits in stocks real-time, a concept that mainstream Wall Street spends big money avoiding. As a result, I the person was attacked instead of my actual trades that were plainly etched in cyber-stone for all to see.
I took the abuse and dished it back by the bucketful. I laughed and gloated when others failed and when they lost money. I made many enemies, but I always believed I was untouchable because I had the truth on my side. If one goes back to the thousands of posts and peruses them before this nightmare began, one would see my obsession for accuracy, and always being right. I proclaimed over and over again that I'd always be the one who laughed last. I knew every word would be scrutinized and attacked. My past was an issue, so I instituted a policy, for those who remember, of making certain that everything was accurate and "fiction free." My posts and InsideTruth reports were subjected to the most fanatical of critics and they stood up as being bullet-proof.
However, as I saw firsthand, after September 11, brand new crimes were invented just for me and my use of the truth. I was charged with manipulating stocks using the truth and its cleverly timed release, a completely nonexistent and absurd premise that was still amazingly allowed to be presented to my jury. Then the rest of the truth was secreted and perverted, and I was convicted, just like that.
My purpose here, way back then, aside from having a great time making lots of money was to teach and then learn myself more than I knew through that process. When positions got too crowded and lawsuits began to chill the message boards, going private made sense. As many people can attest to, I sought to teach others how to "fish," how to trade and how to do it on their own without me. To me the site was fun, it was a blast and it was the best place to be.
It is a tragic shame to see what was done here. There is a never ending and limitless supply of money that can be made legitimately, honestly, and rather simply in the market. I cannot ever recall a single day where I woke up wondering where the next dollar would come from. Like death and taxes, I knew it would always come. I have been making over $100,000 a month trading since 1995. It's baffling to understand why I would resort to breaking the law to make an extra $50,000 or $60,000 over a 2 year period.
There is not a single reason on the planet that would have ever caused me to break the law or knowingly participate in a criminal trading scheme. There were searches done in the FBI computers, but they were done on Cleveland’s behest to give himself and Terrell a trading edge. Anything that was ever told to me was reported to my probation officer. At no time did I ever believe that I had been given stolen inside information. Anyway, I have proclaimed my innocence 100 different times and in a hundred different ways so there is no need to do it again and again. The only way to clear my name will be to prove everything I’ve been saying these past years to be true, period.
In the event that I lose the appeal and don’t post here ever again, I’d like to take this opportunity to say goodbye to all those people who welcomed me into their lives and have been praying for me. As I struggle through this journey, I learned that without a doubt a man’s worst enemy is always himself. I allowed myself to get scared. I allowed myself to embarrass my friends and family because of that fear. There is no denying that the whole 9/11 issue scared the crap out of me. I was not looking forward to going to trial in NY as an obnoxious, widely despised, and poorly understood Egyptian short-seller who not only was short before going into 9/11 but was someone who “may” have known about it BEFORE it happened. At no time did I ever believe I’d get a fair trial next to Ground-Zero, but now there is no denying that they could and would have never been able to beat me without 9/11.
To all my old site members, to my old friends, to all the traders at #’s 1, 2 3 4 and 5, to all my fellow SI members and lurkers, and to all you short-sellers and traders, I hope that one day you can forgive me for my frailties and my numerous flaws. I wish I had been more courageous and shown more bravery than I did. I was scared and alone in my misery. To all those who were on the receiving end of my verbal and hyperbolic attacks, I should have offered a hand to lift you up more often than I did and for that I am truly sorry.
If fate dictates that I won’t be back, I wish you all much prosperity, health and profit. I offer my deepest and warmest heartfelt wishes for you all. I am eternally grateful every second of every day to my maker that if I should lose my appeal, my separation from my children will only be another 5 years, and not 10 or 20. It could have been so much worse. I also truly hope that if I do lose and no longer interact with folks publicly that many of the good things I tried to do can live on and be taught to others.
There is a time in every man’s life when he reaches a point at which certain decisions he makes will carve out a path to his destiny, whatever that might be. It is at that crossroad, without knowing what lies ahead, that a choice is made that influences every single thing that follows. It’s quite possible that that choice and crossroad aren’t already behind me in what’s already taken place and instead lies up ahead in what I do and who I become should I win on appeal. It’s entirely possibly that my true test in life has yet to begin.
In saying good bye, I’d like to let you all know that it’s been wonderful knowing most of you and an absolute honor knowing some of you. I hope that one day I can come back, not necessarily to laugh but to smile.
God bless you all and goodbye.
Peace,
Anthony@Pacific
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