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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TideGlider who wrote (38791)	5/7/2008 1:29:47 PM
From: Michael Mc Donough	Respond to of 62552

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances." Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn.. She was given the same instructions, to k ill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.' MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

To: TideGlider who wrote (38791)	5/7/2008 5:47:40 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62552

Thanks for giving me a great idea! Instead of reading the garbage that's posted here now mostly political nonsense that isn't funny and repeats I'm rereading this thread from the beginning 40 posts a day. It's incredbile how low the funny to stupid ratio is now compared to in the 1990's. Ok now for something for all the China haters out there. Ever heard of the Emma Maersk? It's the largest container ship ever built. This is how Wal-Mart gets all it's stuff from China. It holds 15,000 containers and has a 207' beam! And look at the crew-size: 13 people for a ship longer than a US aircraft carrier which has a crew of 5,000 men and officers. Think it's big enough? Notice that 207' beam means it cannot fit through the Panama or Suez Canals . It is strictly transpacific. Check out the cruise speed: 31 knots means the goods arrive 4 days before the typical container ship (18-20 knots) on a China-to-California run. So this behemoth is hugely competitive when carrying perishable goods. This ship was built in five sections. The sections floated together and then welded. The command bridge is higher than a 10-story building and has 11 cargo crane rigs that can operate simultaneously. Now here's a video of it burning, enjoy! youtube.com