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Strategies & Market Trends : Anthony @ Equity Investigations, Dear Anthony, -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Buckey who wrote (105776)1/15/2009 8:38:00 PM
From: scion1 Recommendation  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 122087
 
A Letter from Bernie Madoff
Financier Extends Unique Offer

POSTED January 14, 2009
borowitzreport.com

Dear Neighbors,

Please accept my profound apologies for the terrible inconvenience that I have caused over the past weeks. Ruth and I appreciate the support we have received.

Best regards,

Bernard Madoff

-- Letter from Bernie Madoff to his neighbors as quoted in The New York Times, January 12

P.S. I'm sorry my last letter to you was so short, but my ankle bracelet started beeping and that totally freaked me out.

I didn't get a chance to tell you just how much Ruth and I have appreciated the support you've shown - especially all of those lively and memorable messages you keep leaving on our voicemail in the middle of the night. While some of the language is a little saltier than what I'm used to hearing, it's very much in keeping with the rambunctious spirit that this building is known for. Good times!

We also have gotten a kick out of all of the neat decorations you've left outside our apartment door. I never knew what I would look like in effigy! If the smoke detector in the hallway hadn't gone off I wouldn't have gotten a chance to see the darned thing before it burnt to a crisp. Anyway, clearly a lot of work went into it, so to whomever made it, way to go.

Now, in exchange for all the support you've shown me, I'd like to do something for you - in the form of the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Due to the difficult market conditions we now face, I unfortunately can't offer you anything like the returns I've previously delivered to investors, but for the lucky few of you whose applications I deign to accept, I can guarantee an annual nine percent return from now until the end of time. This fund will be closed to new investors as of midnight tonight, so to qualify for the first tier please wire $500,000 in earnest money ASAP (see bank information in the Cayman Islands below). Please attach a 500-word essay explaining why you deserve to give your money to me.

This building has always been about neighbors helping each other out, so in exchange for extending this unique investment opportunity to you, there are a few favors I'd like to ask in return. First, does anyone in the building know anything about melting down gold jewelry so that it doesn't jangle around when you put it in a FedEx envelope? Also, do any of you have access to a twin-engine plane that can fly 1500 miles without refueling? One other thing I would totally be interested in is if one of you knows a plastic surgeon capable of performing a fairly thorough redoing of someone's face in his apartment - for example, making a 70-year-old man look like Benicio del Toro or Miley Cyrus. Failing that, do any of you have access to some super-realistic latex masks? Any of the above favors would be awesome.

Oops, that darned ankle bracelet is going off again. Which reminds me: it would be totally fantstic if one of you (or someone you know) knew something about disabling/removing electronic ankle bracelets. Anyway, I better go now, so let me say goodbye for now and sign off with our building's longstanding motto: "No Snitchin."

You know you love me,

XOXO Bernie

borowitzreport.com



To: Buckey who wrote (105776)1/16/2009 8:17:20 AM
From: scion  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 122087
 
BERNIE'S FAKE TRADES
REGULATORS: NO TRACE OF MADOFF STOCK BUYS SINCE 1960S

By JAMES DORAN

Last updated: 4:08 am
January 16, 2009
Posted: 4:05 am
January 16, 2009
nypost.com

The mystery surrounding Bernard Madoff's alleged $50 billion Ponzi scheme deepened further yesterday after the securities industry's watchdog said there was no evidence that the accused swindler ever traded a single share on behalf of his clients, suggesting financial irregularities going back to the 1960s.

Officials at the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, known as FINRA, told The Post that after examining more than 40 years' worth of financial records from Madoff's now-defunct broker dealer, there are no signs that Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities ever traded shares on behalf of the investment-advisory business at the center of the scandal.

The startling findings contradict statements that Madoff's advisory clients received showing hundreds, if not thousands of trades, completed by the broker dealer every year.

"Our investigations of Bernard Madoff's broker dealership showed no evidence that any shares were ever traded on behalf of his investment advisory business," a FINRA spokesman said, adding that the regulator has looked at Madoff's books going back to 1960.

Ira Lee Sorkin, a Madoff lawyer, declined to comment.

Madoff was arrested last month after his sons said their father had confessed to them that his investment-advisory business was a Ponzi scheme that had bilked $50 billion out of wealthy friends, vulnerable charities and universities. Madoff remains free on $10 million bail.

While his advisory business is at the center of the scandal, all signs point to Madoff's broker dealer being a legitimate business that traded shares wholesale on behalf of investment banks, mutual funds and other institutions.

Madoff was previously vice chairman of FINRA's predecessor NASD. He was also a member of the Nasdaq stock exchange, where he served as chairman of its trading committee.

Richard Rampell, a Florida-based certified accountant who counts as clients several of Madoff's victims, said his review of dozens of statements supports FINRA's findings.

"Everything I saw on those statements told me that Madoff was clearing his own trades," he said. "There was no third party mentioned on any of those statements."

Steve Harbeck, CEO of Securities Industry Protection Corp., the outfit overseeing the Madoff bankruptcy to ensure clients get some sort of compensation, said his findings are similar to FINRA's.

"I do not have any evidence to contradict that," he said. "This is an amazing story that something like this could have gone on undetected for so long."

Harbeck added that he believed Madoff has been defrauding clients for at least 28 years. "I have seen evidence to that end and I have nothing to contradict it," he said.

nypost.com