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Pastimes : Where the GIT's are going -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ish who wrote (184971)	10/19/2009 11:27:40 PM
From: Neeka	5 Recommendations Read Replies (5) \| Respond to of 225578

Ish! First I want to say that I am sorry your parents did that to you. I don't think they gave any thought to how much their words hurt, and how wrong it was to take their problems out on you. There is no excuse for what your parents did to you. but I also believe they were ignorant, and had no idea how much their words harmed you. I don't know what it was about our parent's generation, but I have a feeling their lives were very hard. The ones I've and known..........most are gone now, but I remember........were very bitter people and unhappy no matter their lot in life. Rich, poor, successful, lucky, unlucky.......they were just plain miserable. I believe they learned this kind of behavior from their parents, who brought these attitudes with them from countries in EU where life was even harder than it was here. IOW......they were treated the same way as you in their youth. Although my Mother never told me I was stupid, she was intolerant, and totally uninterested in me or my siblings. She was entirely self absorbed.........and I suspect your parents were self absorbed too. I think I've written this here, but I want to repeat it to you. When I was 5 years old my mother told my brother and me she never wanted us, it was our father's idea to have more children (I had one older sister when I was born) and if she had it to do all over again, she would not have had us. My brother immediately started crying.........I walked away and started planning how to survive without my Mother's help. From that day forward, she was irrelevant to me, and I knew I was on my own. I think I developed some pretty strong coping skills, and honestly..........it didn't matter what she thought. What mattered to me was what kind of person I was going to be. I decided that I was going to be kind, and happy, and in as much control of my destiny as possible. Fortunately, I had a few good role models.......my maternal grandfather and my father (when he was around, which, understandably wasn't much.) I wasn't ADD, and I learned quickly. For that I was grateful. One other thing I decided was that I would never, ever take my past out on another human being, and I definitely would not neglect my children the way my Mother neglected us. I chose to be happy. I chose to be sympathetic and understanding of other people regardless of my Mother's poor condition. I am grateful she gave me life, but I didn't have much respect for her. And I let her own that. I did not own it, and I never will. We alone determine how we live our lives. We alone have the power to decide how to fill our days. We can be miserable and live with regrets and anger because of the past, or we can live for the moment and embrace all that life has to give. I chose to live for the moment and rarely if ever give my past a second thought. xoxoxoxxo M One other thing Ish. I forgave my Mother years ago. Peace comes with true forgiveness.