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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: emidio who wrote (3857)	11/11/1997 8:22:00 AM
From: Kip518	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline: * If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. * If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2. * If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5,and 6. * If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. * If you are experiencing a major depression, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. * If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear. Thank You

To: emidio who wrote (3857)	11/11/1997 7:48:00 PM
From: emidio	Respond to of 62558

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road? >Answers: > Pat Buchanan: > > To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Louis Farrakhan: > > The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken > crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Bill Gates: > > I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross > roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it > gets 1.4999999999. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Ronald Reagan: > > I don't recall. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > The Bible: > > And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the > chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the > road, and there was much rejoicing. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Freud: > > The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road > reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > L.A. Police Department: > > Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Richard M. Nixon: > > The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did > not cross the road. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Saddam Hussein: > > This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite > justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Saddam Hussein #2: > > It is the Mother of all Chickens. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Dr. Seuss: > > Did the chicken cross the road? > Did he cross it with a toad? > Yes! The chicken crossed the road, > but why it crossed it, I've not been told! > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Ernest Hemingway: > > To die. In the rain. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Buddha: > > If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Martin Luther King, Jr.: > > I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross > roads without having their motives called into question. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Jerry Seinfeld: > > Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever > think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around > all over the place anyway?" > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > The Pope: > > That is only for God to know. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Grandpa: > > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. > Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that > was good enough for us. > >+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Colonel Sanders: > > I missed one?