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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: KVASIR who wrote (3867)	11/12/1997 10:07:00 AM
From: broken_cookie	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62558

Good one. A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all you sons of bitches who are returning and want to get on, get your asses on the train now, cause we're going down the tracks!" The mother went into the living room and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may go back and play with your train, but only if you use nice language." Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." Then, the child added, "And for those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, see the bitch in the kitchen."

To: KVASIR who wrote (3867)	11/12/1997 12:03:00 PM
From: SJS	Respond to of 62558

Bubba and Earl... Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. Earl, the smarter of the two, was driving. Bubba said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl. It's a police road block!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" Don't worry, Bubba." "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, throw the bottles under the seat to hide the evedents. Before we do dat.... we gotta peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads". "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Damn! Don't be asking no dumb questions, Bubba." "Just let me do the talkin', OK?" Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a bottle label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, they were stopped by the sherriff. "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch".