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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SJS who wrote (3870)	11/12/1997 8:40:00 PM
From: Miles Rhyne Hoffman, CFA	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Final Exam time: (I real class example) ======= In a high school psychology class, our teacher gave use a test on human nature (assume the questions are psych ones...) ======= FINAL EXAMINATION Instructions: Read each question carefully. Read all the questions first, then begin the test (and I suggest first answering the questions you know). Please answer all questions in ink. Time Limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately. 1) H I S T O R Y Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific. 2) M E D I C I N E You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes. 3) P U B L I C S P E A K I N G Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek. 4) B I O L O G Y Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis. 5) M U S I C Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat. 6) P S Y C H O L O G Y Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate. 7) S O C I O L O G Y Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the deline of modern civilization and/or the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory. 8) M A N A G E M E N T S C I E N C E Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming a AS/400 supporting 50 terminals, use each terminal to activate your algorithm. Additionally, design the communications interface and all necessary control programs. 9) E N G I N E E R I N G The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger (the very last one left on the planet...) will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision if you decide to kill the tiger. 10) E C O N O M I C S Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the eficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question. 11) P O L I T I C A L S C I E N C E There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any. 12) E P I S T E M O L O G Y Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position. 13) P H Y S I C S Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science. 14) P H I L O S O P H Y Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought. 15) G E N E R A L K N O W L E D G E Describe everything there is in detail. Be objective and specific. HUMAN NATURE: Human nature would be to jump right in and start answering questions. Now that YOU have read the test, please write your name on the test paper and turn it without answering the questions. POST SCRIPT: Everyone in the class wondered how one person finished the test in 3 minutes while we were furiously answering questions!