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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jpmac who wrote (4500)	11/19/1997 2:04:00 AM
From: Gauguin	Respond to of 71178

Penni, jpmac, et al. As usual, such beautifully expressed thoughts. Worth walking away and thinking about. Over the years, I've seen some people grow stronger and others weaker. I am amazed by what I have seen people living with, around here, in our cyber neighborhood. One of my life-local heroes is my cousin; he raised three children by himself. I'm in awe each time I look at him and think of it. I admit I would not have thought it possible. It's also frightening for me because I don't think I could do it. Weakening, weakness, is another mysterious thing. I don't quite understand it, but I'm getting experience firsthand. >>>> so far am the only one, it seems, that does not view the woman as a wimp, but rather as one who is living under a death threat. I have, unfortunately, known many women and children, and a couple of guys, who lived with that. They were not wimps, but they were not killers. Just good people being terrorized by the depraved. <<<<< True. Very well said. And I can not say what my behavior/response/adaptation would be, until I've been there. Sometimes I recognize this naivety on my part; sometimes... You've also made me think, if I am "a killer". Even counting the lives of certain others as being as lowly as "evil vapors", then the sins being perpetrated by others become yours; your innocence is lost. Even acting in the "defense" of another. 'Tis a bitch of a quagmire. Not that anyone asked, but I think I began life as a killer. Now, I don't know. The christian/buddhist admonition/advice certainly isn't popular, or comfortable, (as you've just pointed out and I experience); but that doesn't mean it isn't "right". Oddly, I feel I would endorse the defense of innocents as Samurai/Sikh/Marshall Dillon, if I did not suspect a god; but with that suspicion that course seems impossible. One then steps into a different arena. Rather finalist, no going back, and still painful. Grrrr. Questions at the heart, aren't they. And they get so tiring. I envy the convinced. I think I'll watch some cartoons. BTW, my heroes are also people who don't remind me that Dorothy's dog was Toto, not Todo.

To: jpmac who wrote (4500)	11/19/1997 9:06:00 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

I really liked the points you made, jp. In thinking about Carl yesterday, I had wondered if this was a penitential act of some sort-an atonement for the death of his baby brother. Do you remember when the boy said to him, "Why didn't you do something (to save the baby) I would have done something!" Well-he decided this time to do something. It crossed my mind that there was a savior/sacrificial element but I rejected that--too I dunno-dramatic. As for the mom, you have a point about the death threat. But again, there are two available options to a woman. To live in the constant fear-and he could have still hurt either her or the boy at any time-regardless of her compliance because an abuser's rationalizations are not logical--or to become proactive. Get a restraining order, go to a shelter, buy a damn Uzi. But (in my mind)once she crossed the line of allowing him to abuse her child, she became guilty. The damage done to him, the things he was seeing day after day, well-sometimes I think fear has to be confronted directly, regardless of the consequences. And that's what made her passive. Would a jury be less likely to convict a woman who killed in her child's defense than her own? Incidentally, I have no idea what I would do. Except that I do think I would kill someone who hurt my child. Of course, I've been tempted to beat up baseball coaches who weren't fair, so what else would you expect.