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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ManyMoose who wrote (46005)	1/24/2012 10:14:04 PM
From: ManyMoose	2 Recommendations Respond to of 62578

Sorry for the wasted space. That's the way it came to me and I'm too lazy to clean it up. A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty exept for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked "Nope, sure aint." said the man "Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan "Don't doubt it for a minute." replied the old man in an even tone "Did you know that I can cause you profound , horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan "Yep" was the calm reply. "And you are still not afraid?" asked Satan "Nope" said the old man More than a little perturbed, Satan asked "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years.."

To: ManyMoose who wrote (46005)	1/25/2012 10:01:35 AM
From: Mad2	13 Recommendations Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62578

Unemployment and out of work > COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America. > > ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%. > > COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? > > ABBOTT: No, that's 16%. > > COSTELLO: You just said 9%. > > ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed. > > COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work. > > ABBOTT: No, that's 16%. > > COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed. > > ABBOTT: No, that's 9%... > > COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%? > > ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work. > > COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed. > > ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You > have to look for work to be unemployed. > > COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! > > ABBOTT: No, you miss my point. > > COSTELLO: What point? > > ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with > those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair. > > COSTELLO: To who? > > ABBOTT: The unemployed. > > COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work. > > ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work... > Those who are out of work stopped looking. > They gave up. > And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed. > > COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles, that would count > as less unemployment? > > ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely! > > COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for > work? > > ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise > it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment do ya? > > COSTELLO: That would be frightening. > > ABBOTT: Absolutely. > > COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means they're two ways > to bring down the unemployment number? > > ABBOTT: Two ways is correct. > > COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? > > ABBOTT: Correct. > > COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a > job? > > ABBOTT: Bingo. > > COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the > easier of the two is to just stop looking for work. > > ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist. > > COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said! > > > And now you know why Obama's unemployment figures are improving!