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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Janice Shell who wrote (4601)11/23/1997 10:48:00 AM
From: Rambi  Respond to of 71178
 
Elegantly and charmingly expressed, as usual. I was so afraid that people wouldn't understand what I was trying to say.



To: Janice Shell who wrote (4601)11/23/1997 12:40:00 PM
From: James R. Barrett  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 71178
 
Hi Janice, thought you might enjoy the Thanksgiving card I sent to your "old pal" Christine yesterday.

Jim

To: Christine Grace Bartley (13782 )
From: James R. Barrett Saturday, Nov 22 1997 6:59PM EST
Reply #13798 of 13822

Hi Christine, I see you are ready for Thanksgiving. We are almost ready.

My wife and I drove over to our local turkey farm and picked out a beautiful 19 pound hen turkey. She looks very healthy and tender. The farmer said she has been on a special diet so she will have more white meat per pound. We saw the hen's five children, three boys and two girls. They were playing with an ear of corn and running around the barnyard. They are so cute when they're children. We told the farmer to save us one of the females for next years' dinner.

The farmer put our hen in a room on death row. The room was very clean and well lit. Condemned turkeys get special treats to eat during their final days. I thought that was rather nice.
She will be executed at 6AM Wednesday in the normal manner. (death by hatchet) She seemed well prepared for her coming demise.
The farmer was very thoughtful and had music piped into the room. A beautiful version of Amazing Grace was playing. My wife started crying so he changed it to Turkey In The Straw which is rather lively.

We left death row and went back out to the barnyard. The hen's husband Tom was sobbing uncontrolablely. The farmer said Tom goes through this every year and should be used to it by now. Tom is what they call a breeder turkey and will never wind up on someone's dinner table. Tom perked up when the farmer gave him his new wife, a cute young hen with beautiful matching feathers. Tom looked very happy now and appeared to have already forgotten about his unfortunate wife on death row.

I asked the farmer why Tom, who had some gray feathers, was the breeder instead of one of the younger males. He said it was because Tom's ring size is 12 1/2 and no other male is even close.

We paid the farmer and told him we'd be back Wed. night to pick up the corpse. He promised us she would be delicious so we said goodby and left.

As we were pulling out of the driveway my wife said "maybe we should have ham next year".

Happy Thanksgiving Christine,
Jim



To: Janice Shell who wrote (4601)11/23/1997 11:10:00 PM
From: epicure  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
And I had heard it would get you just that, especially from some of the professors.