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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Scott Moody who wrote (3968)	11/24/1997 11:03:00 PM
From: Amazing Maz	Respond to of 62558

One day a young Gardner walked into Johns general store to use the Payphone. As he walked by the counter John greated him with a hello, Jonny. Jonny went to the phone and dialed a number. The person on the other end of the line aswered the phone with Hello,this is Mike. What can I do for you Mike asked? Will sir, Jonny said, I heard you were looking for a Gardner and I really need a job. Mike responded with Oh, that's too bad, My gardener is great so I can't use one now. Jonny replied, Look I'm the best Gardener in the world and I'll work for you for less than the guy you have now. Mike replied, I'm sorry but I'm just to happy with the Gardener I have now. Jonny replied, Are you sure, maybe you should give your gardener a raise so he does'nt look elswhere? Mike replied, I'm sorry but I'm just too happy with this guy. Jonny hung up the phone and with his head looking down to the floor as he passed by John at the counter, and stoped when he heard John say, Don't be so worried Jonny, A good job will come along soon. Jonny replied, Oh it's not a problem John. John look at him stearn and said, Now Jonny don't you lie. I heard you almost beg that man on the phone for a job. Jonny turned to him and said, John, John, John, that was my boss, I just wanted to make sure he was going to keep me and maybe get a raise.

To: Scott Moody who wrote (3968)	11/25/1997 10:01:00 AM
From: S K	Respond to of 62558

> Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving? > > A: Turkey. > > Q. What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? > > A. They both have Kurds in their Whey. > > Q. What do Sadaam Hussein and General Custer have in common? > > A. They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from! > > Q: What is the best Iraqi job? > > A: Foreign Ambassador > > Q. How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb? > > A. None. They can't turn them on anyway. > > Q. How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? > > A. Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of $800,000. > > Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" > > A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time." > > Q. Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? > > A. ...you only have to teach them to take off. > > Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo? > > A. B-52...F-16...B-52 > > Q: What is Iraq's national bird? > > A: Duck > > Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile? > > A: Aeroflot has killed more people. > > Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone? > > A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble. > > Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper? > > A: They need a map.... > > Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? > > A: So they can see their Air Force. > > > Q. Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss? > > A. He elected to receive.