Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mad2 who wrote (46777)	4/27/2012 8:47:09 PM
From: Oblivious	3 Recommendations Respond to of 62592

Jesus and the Liberal Democrat A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?” The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him. The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat." The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there? The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly. As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door. Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door. Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me .... I'm on disability."

To: Mad2 who wrote (46777)	4/30/2012 5:01:24 PM
From: Oblivious	4 Recommendations Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62592

THE PERFECT HUSBAND >>>Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench >>>rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. >>>Everyone else in the room stops to listen. >>> >>> >>>MAN: "Hello" >>> >>>WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" >>> >>>MAN: "Yes." >>> >>>WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only >>>$2,000; is it OK if I buy it?" >>> >>> >>>MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." >>> >>>WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one >>>I really liked." >>> >>> >>>MAN: "How much?" >>> >>>WOMAN: "$90,000." ; >>> >>>MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." >>> >>>WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found >>>out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking >>>$980,000 for it." >>> >>> >>>MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take >>>it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want." >>> >>> >>>WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" >>> >>>MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." >>> >>>The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in >>>astonishment, mouths wide open. >>> >>> >>>He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"