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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Smart_Asset who wrote (46912)	5/18/2012 1:47:16 PM
From: High Grader	1 Recommendation Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62566

Dr. Martin was a well respected cardiologist. One Saturday evening, during his daughter's 12th birthday party, he received a call to rush to the hospital...he was "on call for emergency". Met by the Head Nurse, he was given the chart. Unlike most people, Emergency Physicians seldom look at the name on the top of the page. Dr. Martin surmised though that the patient in Slot D would probably live.... being as he knew exactly what had to be done to save his life. Reaching Slot D, Dr. Martin suddenly looked at the top of the chart and realized that this was an ex-patient who was suing him for malpractice and ruining his career. Walking into the room and leaning over the bed they recognized one another...and Dr. Martin said... "The bad news, is that you need a heart transplant immediately or you will die in the next hour. The good news is that we don't have one available."

To: Smart_Asset who wrote (46912)	5/22/2012 4:57:42 PM
From: Mad2	12 Recommendations Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62566

The plane leaves Heathrow under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..' 'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?' 'You people bombed <!--Notes ACF -->Pearl Harbor<!--Notes ACF --> , that's why!' 'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.' 'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!' There's a few minutes of silence. 'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces. 'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain. 'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot. 'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!' Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, ..no mattah...all same.