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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rambi who wrote (4713)	12/2/1997 11:39:00 PM
From: greenspirit	Respond to of 71178

Penni, that's was great, now let me try to bring back your memories of what it used to be like with TODDLERS! :-) I walk in the house around 4:30 usually starving because I skipped lunch. I ask what time do you figure dinner hun? Answer, as soon as I clean up this mess Katie has made! She has taken a particular liking lately to the automatic ice and water dispensor outside of the fridge. So there is always a puddle around. I say Ok, Let me read the mail and then I'll help. The second I sit down to read I hear cries from mom such as "get out of my kitchen! Stop it Katie! Michael!! Can you come help? These kids are driving me nuts!!! So I grudgingly grab the little one and hoist her into my lap. After a few hugs, she's had enough and has dreamed up some new nightmare for me or mom. She squirms out of my lap and roots around my feet looking for the on Off button on the computer, or starts pushing on the CD button to open it up and close it back and forth back and forth back and forth. Then just as I'm reading she say's Dada? Play weeda waabit?? Ok one second baby, then nanoseconds later, DADA PLAY WEEDA WAAABITT!!! DADA PLAY WEEEDA WAAABIT!! Ok OK OK, flip click I walk around and perch her in front of the program, then decide bad move and put her on my lap. Bear in mind all this time I'm still trying to read my snail mail! Then I hear the saving words, DINNER. Great I'm starved! I'll eat anything. Michael grab the tippie cups on your way. Ok sure. I want pink! I want batman! No I want Spiderman! Of course long after I've started filling them up?? Just take these there all the same kids. OH DAAD but I wanted Spiderman!! jeeez, pleeeese sit down. We sit, immediatly Katie starts banging her fork on the table, my wife freaks, Katie Stop that! You'll ruin the wood!! Ok say grace, Ryan stop eating! I say grace quickly, knowing full well one of the kids is going to do something soon. Sure enough Katie stabs at Ryan with her fork, Ryan retailiates, Mom yells, I say Ok Ok and pull Katie waaay down the dining room table so they can't reach eachother. Then woops food hits the floor. Sorrry Daaaad! Just leave it. Eat the rest. No Ryan you can't just have potatoes. Eat the other stuff too. Can I be scussed dad? Sure fine, wonderful meal, good boy and girl. Now Miss Penni, would you like to go back to those days? Michael

To: Rambi who wrote (4713)	12/3/1997 2:08:00 AM
From: JF Quinnelly	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

Piss on it.

To: Rambi who wrote (4713)	12/3/1997 4:20:00 PM
From: Thomas C. White	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

THOMAS'S BRAZIL TRAVEL TIPS [Lifted Shamelessly from The Lonely Planet Online] In Praia da Areia Preta, Guarapari, the beach right in front of the city centre, is narrow and not very beautiful. There are sands of different colours, some of which are highly radioactive. Some people believe that exposure to the radiation of this sand is good for rheumatism and skin diseases, so they cover themselves with it. The tourism industry of Guarapari lives from this belief and therefore you can hardly hear any critical words about it. I took some sand samples with me and analysed them back home in Vienna at the laboratory of the Austrian Ecology Institute where I work. It turned out that besides thorium, the sand also contains very high concentrations of uranium. For a radiation protection point of view, staying on the beach for a longer period of time cannot be recommended. Anyway, there is no scientifically sound evidence for any health benefits of radiation. Thorium-232 and its decay products have, together with alpha and beta, very high energy gamma radiation with a virtually infinite range, so that everybody on the beach is immersed in a quite intense gamma radiation field which easily penetrates the body (comparable to x-rays). Stay off the beach!

To: Rambi who wrote (4713)	12/3/1997 4:36:00 PM
From: Thomas C. White	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

"Tonight you and your loving spouse probably ate a romantic dinner by candlelight, with Chopin Nocturnes playing gently in the background. The table gleaming with silver and crystal, you gracefully consumed your lowfat, healthy, gourmet food at your leisure and discussed the events of the day in low, articulate, intelligent tones, pausing occasionally to gaze into each other's eyes and smile seductively, she clad winsomely in a clinging hostess gown, you elegant in -well-whatever the male equivalent is." The male equivalent is paint-bespattered gym shorts and a 49ers teeshirt. In any case, I don't believe I know this couple.

To: Rambi who wrote (4713)	12/4/1997 1:46:00 AM
From: ZinMaster	Respond to of 71178

I ... wonder if it's possible for a woman to use a urinal. Yes of course it is, penni. They make darling settings for potted plants. And to water them, all you do is pull on the chrome handle. Then give them a good shake to get rid of the excess water. Or you could use an adaptor. If you feel the urge, I know where you could get fitted for a fully-functional unit. PS - my sister has never swallowed a pea. When we had peas with dinner, she saved them up in her cheeks. If you don't break the skiin, they don't taste bad.