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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: bob who wrote (4080)	12/7/1997 11:38:00 PM
From: bob	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

An 80-year-old man went for his annual check up and the doctor said, "Friend, for your age you're in the best shape I have seen." The old fellow replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. Why, I know I live a good, clean, spiritual life." The doctor asked, "What makes you say that?" The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life the Lord wouldn't turn on the bathroom light for me everytime I get up in the middle of the night." The doc was concerned. "You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on the light for you?" "Yep," the old man said, "Whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me." Well, the doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check-up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said... "I just wanted you to know," the doctor said. "Your husband's in fine physical shape but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "He what? she cried. "He said every night when he gets up to go the bathroom, the Lord turns on the light for him." "Aha!!!!!! she exclaimed. "So he's the one who's been peeing in the refrigerator!"

To: bob who wrote (4080)	12/7/1997 11:47:00 PM
From: bob	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

~~~ EAT AT~~~ A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says "if you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?" She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."