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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Rambi who wrote (5219)12/14/1997 10:40:00 AM
From: Janice Shell  Respond to of 71178
 
I'd be curious about how you all would respond to this---from the legal aspect? the driving aspect? the loss of control? moral issues?

I (obviously, or I'd be damned forever) don't think drinking's immoral, nor is one beer likely to impair anyone's self-control or ability to drive. But I assume that in Texas it is illegal for 16-year-olds to consume alcoholic beverages. Or is it only against the law to sell it to them, or for them to buy it?

If the former, I'd say he'd have to put up with it. If the latter, that he could drink beer at home.

Italians don't have major problems with this stuff. There's no "legal" drinking age: if a five-year-old wants to buy a bottle of wine there's nothing to stop him doing so. In deference to local customs, McDonald's serves beer as well as soft drinks, and they won't refuse to sell it to teenagers. And so there isn't really any mystique attached to drinking. It's not a rite-of-passage thing, or a wouldn't-my-folks-be-pissed-off thing. As a result, most teens drink what they want to drink. Usually Coke or water, sometimes beer. Seems they don't develop an interest in wine, except for fizzy stuff on special occasions, till they get a little older.



To: Rambi who wrote (5219)12/14/1997 10:43:00 AM
From: Gauguin  Respond to of 71178
 
Pop Quiz answer #1: Can I...think about it? Maybe ask Norton first? Maybe go back to Bangkok for a couple weeks?

Quick, honest answer: I don't know. I don't know how to do it right. I was not trained; I/we likely have to invent, which is rarely as succecssful the first time out as the employments of a mature society.
I become strained whenever I think of what I would do with my children. I think the way we do it as a group here is not very bright or effective, but that doesn't mean an individual within that tainted morass can select themself from it. It's attempted invention with unknown results vs collective wisdom with visible effects.

How would one have magically developed these skills in a society that hasn't?

It's one of the distressing things about this country; maybe the most.

[And it's so complex it HURTS my hed to think about. But I'll try.)



To: Rambi who wrote (5219)12/14/1997 11:27:00 AM
From: Gauguin  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 71178
 
Kwik, dangerous answer #2: If he's going to be drinking that beer at your house, let him.

Not with friends, and not in the social record ~ which means he has to understand the consequences to you guys. Which is unfortunate, but good. (A neccessary evil of our rule-ruled "society".)

You can just say no. Yah, I'm sure most everyone thinks that. But I don't think it's right. If he's old enough to want to try a beer, he's old enough to try a beer.

"He" knows it.

(BTW, how old is the tyke?)



To: Rambi who wrote (5219)12/14/1997 12:38:00 PM
From: jpmac  Respond to of 71178
 
penni - i'm sitting here on a sunday morning thinking of drunk
stories. i pester youngsters around here with them on occasion when
it seems appropriate to their situation and direction.

i think a child learns responsibility both by being giving
guidance and then latitude to make choices. even if some of
them are wrong. my mother (who i consider wise), after i had
screwed up, would always ask me if i'd learned my lesson. she
didn't expect not me to make mistakes. she did think i ought to
think about them and consider what there was to learn and what
i should do (or not do) different next time.

i like my sister, c's, teenage drinking story. (i didn't drink
as a teenager) she was hanging out with a crowd that thought a
good time was getting blasted and passing out. so one night she
did that. got drunk and threw up and woke up the next day feeling
awful. she thought to herself, taht was not fun and has
never been drunk again. and she stopped hanging out with that
crowd.

she got into wines as an adult. likes to have wine tastings and
drink the best. it's a big deal if she drinks two glasses at a
sitting.

i'm sometimes confused by the fact we are from the same family.

i like paul's suggestion of having him try it with his parents
around. and in a safe setting. no driving to be considered.
no peer influence to drink a lot and fast so as to get wasted.
and the group he's around is very important. if he's with other
people that drink, there's the one's that want to get drunk-act
stupid-then pass out and there's the one's that enjoy relaxing
over a drink with friends.

at some point he will be away at college and there will be a great
deal of influence from his peers without you around. and depending
on his situation, there could be a good bit of pressure. the more
choices he has made before he gets there, about what he wants
and is comfortable with, the better.

least whys that's some of my thoughts. take into account i have
no children.



To: Rambi who wrote (5219)12/14/1997 2:40:00 PM
From: epicure  Respond to of 71178
 
I can remember in highschool getting into situations that were very dangerous and not realizing it, because I was young and lacked mature judgment. One beer doesn't seem so bad, but sometimes I was out in the middle of nowhere, with no phone available, and the people who had driven me had significantly more than one beer. I can remember closing my eyes and just praying, in a secular way, that I would get home alive. And it wasn't that I didn't have a strong sense of self-preservation, I've always had that and I never felt as immortal as some kids seem to feel. But I really didn't see some of the danger in my actions, until it was almost too late. That is where fate comes in, I guess. Some kids get a chance to step back from the precipice, some don't.

When I talk to my Megan, who asks questions about drugs now and then, because they cover the topic in school, I try to explain its a slippery slope. And sometimes, you never know when, you can think you are in control, and really be heading toward an abyss. I compare it to riding a bicycle, and suddenly hitting a patch of sand. You can't always see it, and until you fall once you may not even know what it can do. Sadly, some mistakes you can't afford to make even once and that is a hard concept to get accross to a child who has been protected from injury.