Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SirWalterRalegh who wrote (54992)	9/18/2016 4:59:26 PM
From: High Grader	1 Recommendation Recommended By TechKim Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

One bagger... you have to out a bag over her (or his) head. Two bagger ... a bag over her (or his) head and one over yours, in case a friend should see you. Three bagger ...one over hers (or his) and one over yours and one over the dog's, so that the dog doesn't get sick. And there's cougars and coyotes. Cougars ...ok. The coyote is where she (or he) is sleeping on your arm and you chew it off rather than wake her (or him.) All this p.c. stuff sure makes it more complex to tell a joke.

To: SirWalterRalegh who wrote (54992)

9/18/2016 7:59:04 PM

From: unclewest

3 Recommendations

Recommended By
22jt
Stock Puppy
TechKim

Respond to of 62558

Driving Incident
Everyone reading this will enjoy it - no matter which gender you are.........

This morning on the Interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a
Woman

In a brand new
Cadillac

Doing 65 mph

With her
Face up next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

For a couple seconds...

To continue shaving

And when I looked back, she was

Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt And
I dropped

My electric shaver,

Which knocked

The donut
Out of my other hand.

In all The confusion of trying
To straighten out the car

Using my knees against
The steering wheel,

It knocked

My Cell Phone

Away from my ear

Which fell

into my coffee which was

Between my legs,

Splashed,

And burned

Big Boy and the Twins.

Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an
Important call.

Damn women drivers!

To: SirWalterRalegh who wrote (54992)	9/18/2016 8:50:28 PM
From: unclewest	14 Recommendations Recommended By 2sigma Bob Hoa Hao Investor Clouseau JakeStraw and 9 more members Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.' The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and I acted as I felt right.' The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?' The biker replies, "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican, and I?m voting for Trump". The journalist leaves. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions and reads, on the front page: U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days!