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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Andrew N. Cothran who wrote (4337)	1/10/1998 2:24:00 PM
From: username	Respond to of 62581

A guy goes into a bar. He has a pet monkey. The guy orders a drink, and the monkey jumps onto the bar and walks over to the little cups that hold the garnishes. He picks up an olive and eats it, then he picks up a little cocktail onion and pops it in his mouth. The bartender walks over to the guy and says, "Hey, man, your monkey is eating up my profits, here." The guy apologizes, flips the bartender a 10 spot and leaves. The next week, the guy comes back in with the monkey, only this time the monkey jumps onto the pool table, pops the cue ball in his mouth, and swallows it. The bartender walks up to the guy and says, "Hey!!! Your %#$#@ monkey just ate my cue ball!" The guy apologizes and hands the bartender a 20 and splits. The next week, the guy comes in with the monkey, and the monkey jumps onto the bar, walks over to the garnish cups, grabs a maraschino cherry, sticks it in his butt, pulls it out, then pops it in his mouth and swallows it. The bartender is totally grossed out. He walks over to the guy and says, "Hey, man! That disgusting pet monkey of yours just stuck a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!!" The guy apologizes and says, "Yeah, I know it's gross. Ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he feels like he has to check everything."