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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: JEFF CHAPMAN who wrote (4424)1/20/1998 7:04:00 PM
From: Steve LaRiviere  Respond to of 62549
 
Old farmer John goes to the barn to milk his cow. Carefully, he washes the cow's udders, places the clean stainless steel pail under the cow, and places the stool and sits down.

The cow, seeing him sit down, kicks the stool out from underneath the old man. The old man falls in the manure, gets up and brushes himself off, calmly goes to the cow's head, looks it in the eye and says
"That's one."

He then puts the stool back, quickly sits down, and no sooner than he starts to milk the cow, it raises it's tail and takes a dump, which lands squarely in the pail. The old man picks up the pail, brings it outside to the hose and washes it out. He then goes to the front of the cow, looks it in the eye and says "That's two."

The old man then puts down the pail and starts milking. Once he is done, and the pail is brimming with fresh milk, he gets up. The cow knocks him with it's hip, knocking him down and spilling the fresh milk all over. The old man goes to the front of the cow, looks it in the eye and says "That's three." He then goes to his farmhouse, gets his shotgun, goes back to the barn and shoots the cow in the head, killing it instantly.

The farmer's wife comes running in, looks at the cow and starts yelling, "Oh, you stupid old fool! That was our prize winning cow! Where the hell are we going to get our milk now, you idiot! We could have gotten a thousand bucks a calf you moron! Now what are we going to do?"

The farmer calmly looks at his wife and says "That's one."



To: JEFF CHAPMAN who wrote (4424)1/22/1998 2:27:00 AM
From: KVASIR  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62549
 
THE BEST BUMPER STICKER:
"HELL YES I'M DRUNK...DO YOU THINK I'M A STUNT DRIVER?"