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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: PAL who wrote (4462)	1/23/1998 12:28:00 AM
From: Cheeky Kid	Respond to of 62549

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, 51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. 51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. 51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting 51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the centre is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"

To: PAL who wrote (4462)	1/23/1998 1:21:00 AM
From: bob	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

CLOCK SHOP A guy is walking down the street and enters a clock and watch shop. While looking around, he notices a drop dead gorgeous female clerk behind the counter. He walks up to the counter where she is standing, unzips his pants, and places his penis on the counter. "What are you doing, Sir?", she asks. "This is a clock shop!!" He replied, "I know it is. And I would like 2 hands and a face put on THIS!"

To: PAL who wrote (4462)	2/13/1998 4:58:00 PM
From: S K	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

>> > As you shall make your bed so shall you...............mess it up. >> > Better be safe than..........................punch a 5th grader. >> > Strike while the ...................................bug is close. >> > It's always darkest before.................daylight savings time. >> > You can lead a horse to water but............................how? >> > Don't bite the hand that.............................looks dirty. >> > A miss is as good as a........................................Mr. >> > You can't teach an old dog new..............................math. >> > If you lie down with the dogs, you'll.......stink in the morning. >> > The pen is mightier than the................................pigs. >> > An idle mind is............................the best way to relax. >> > Where there's smoke, there's...........................pollution. >> > Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents. >> > A penny saved is........................................not much. >> > Two's company, three's............................the musketeers. >> > Laugh and the whole world laughs with you,cry.........you have to >> blow your nose. >> > Children should be seen and not..............spanked or grounded. >> > When the blind leadeth the blind..............get out of the way.