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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Augie Goldspechkt who wrote (4468)	1/23/1998 10:14:00 AM
From: Augie Goldspechkt	Respond to of 62549

Uncle Ted: > > > > >> >One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class > > go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that > > story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to > > tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand. > > >> > > > "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the > > truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one > Sunday > > we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto > the > > road." > > >> > > > The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't > keep > > all your eggs in one basket." > > >> > > > Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend > we > > take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend > > only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." > > >> > > > The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't > count > > your chickens before they're hatched." > > >> > > > Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his > > plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it > > crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On > the > > way down he drank > > the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of > 100 > > Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of > > bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade > on > > his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands" > > >> > > > Teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any > > moral to his story. > > >> > > > Billy replies, "Don't f@*#k with uncle Ted when he's been drinking > > > >