To: Grainne who wrote (866 ) 1/25/1998 2:58:00 PM From: foobert Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 20981
AMERICANS SURRENDER NOW! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! >In the meantime, the country is somewhat paralyzed, >and that is not good. I foobert, have taken control of the Canadian Armed forces, and in a brilliant tactical manouver have solved our country's greatest pressing problem by invading the breakaway Province of Quebec in the disguise of helping them to recover from an ice storm. Now that this mission is successfully completed, I see a golden opportunity to finally take over our pesky neighbor to the south. This country is presently paralyzed by an amazing confluence of circumstances - it is without a leader, it's armed formes are off on a pleasure cruise in the Persian Gulf, and the remaining reserve of able bodied defenders are either mired in a soup bowl or trying to figure out what "sex" is. Therefore, we will be invading you at this afternoon in unmarked Chevrolet sedans. (we don't have enough spare parts to keep our helicopters flying) You will be unable to counter-attack for the simple reason that you cannot recognize us - we look just like you! Once we have taken control of your country, we will begin the task of "Canadianization" of your country. Here is what will happen: 1. You will be required to say pronounce the letter 'z' as "zed" instead of "zee". 2. All boxes of corn flakes will be emmediately re-labelled in French and English. 3. A buck will no longer be a buck - it will henceforth be known as a "loonie", and it will only be worth 69 cents. 4. All existing Starbucks outlets will be replaced with Ted Horton donut shops. 5. You will be required to be polite - not saying please or thank you will be an inditable offense. Thank you very much for your attention.