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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Bob Bryenton who wrote (4574)	1/30/1998 10:39:00 AM
From: Grainne	Respond to of 62549

I don't have time to follow this thread--although I wish I did--so please excuse this joke if someone already has told it. My husband brought it home from work, and it seemed a waste to just laugh and throw it away. I like it because it is sort of a dirty joke, but funny from the feminine perspective: A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client $100. She went back and infomed the client at which he cried "That is too much!" He then asked "How much for a handjob?" She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said "Ask for $40". That woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung. She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again, at which her husband asked "Now what?" The wife replied "Can I borrow $60?"

To: Bob Bryenton who wrote (4574)	1/31/1998 8:29:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

Johnny is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, he hits everything but the toilet. So mom has to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and takes Johnny to the Doctor. After the examination, the Dr says, his unit is too small. An old wives tale is to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he can hold it and aim straight. Next morning Johnny jumps out of bed and runs down to the kitchen. There on the table are 12 slices of toast. "MOM," Johnny yells, "the Doc said I only had to eat 2 slices." "I KNOW," says Mom, "The other 10 are for your father." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy, "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer." So she said, "There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; tell me your REAL name!" The kid said, "No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!" Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door. The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class, "Do you have a Fuckhauer in here?" "Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row, "We don't even get a cookie break!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bill Clinton just had a meeting with the Pope. He held a quick news conference to provide some details. Apparently Bill and the Pope were in agreement on 60% of what they discussed. When asked about the subject matter, Mr.Clinton stated they had talked about the Ten Commandments. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ There was a couple that lived on sex, sex and sex alone. Every morning the bloke would wake up, roll over and say to his wife "So honey what is for breakfast." She would reply well I am gorgeous why not have me, so they would have sex for breakfast. Every lunch time, the husband would come back home for lunch. His wife would rip off his clothes and shag him senseless until it was time for him to return to work. Every evening he would come in calling out, "Hi honey I'm home." His wife would drag him into the kitchen and make mad passionate love on the kitchen floor. One evening he was late home from work. As he walked in, he called, "Hi honey. I'm home." There was no answer. He walked into the living room and towards the hall. He found his wife completely stark naked sliding up and down the stair banister. "What are you doing?" he asked his wife. She replied "Oh just keeping your dinner warm, love!"