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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Yuri Aminov who wrote (4628)	2/10/1998 2:32:00 AM
From: bob	Respond to of 62550

Now before sending me hate mail saying that people in your areas don't drive like this, just remember, I'm about the worst driver there is! This is all in good humor folks. You'll probably chuckle until your state is mentioned. HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM: - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York - One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston - One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,brick on accelerator: California. With gun in lap: L.A. - Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California. - Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy - One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle - One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male - One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male - One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female - Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: Colorado - One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate. - Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia male. - Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel: Las Vegas - Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida "seasoned citizen" driver, also known as "no-see-um" (or could it be Marge Simpson?) - Two hands on the wheel, driving forty-five in a seventy mph zone in the left lane, with the left turn signal on, and making a right turn: New Mexico resident (as anyone who has ever driven through this lovely state can attest)