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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jay Rommel who wrote (4654)	2/10/1998 3:21:00 PM
From: JEFF CHAPMAN	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

> > >A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing > with > > his > > >new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop, > and > > her > > >son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the > > hell off > > >now, cause this is the last stop! And all you sons of bitches who > are > > >returning and want to get on, get your asses on the train now, > cause > > we're > > >going down the tracks!" > > >The mother went into the living room and told her son, "We don't > use > > that > > >kind of language in this house. Now go to you room and stay there > for > > TWO > > >HOURS. When you come out, you may go back and play with your train, > > but > > >only if you use nice language." > > >Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed > playing > > with > > >his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say > > "All > > >passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take > > all of > > >your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and > > hope > > >your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again > > soon." > > >She hears the little boy continue. "For those of you just boarding, > > we ask > > >you to stow all of your hand luggage under you seat. Remember, > there > > is no > > >smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing > > journey > > >with us today." > > >Then, the child added, "And for those of you who are pissed off > about > > the > > >TWO HOUR DELAY, see the bitch in the kitchen."

To: Jay Rommel who wrote (4654)	2/10/1998 4:16:00 PM
From: Jay Rommel	Respond to of 62549

Hey guys - try this new improved formula ... 1.First of all, pick the number of times a month that you would like to have sex. 2.Multiply this number by 4. 3.Add 5. 4.Multiply it by 250. 5.If you have already had your birthday this year, add 748. If you haven't, add 747. 6.Last step: Subtract the four digit year that you were born. RESULTS: You should now have a four or five digit number: The first digit ( or 2 digits if you are really horny ) of this was your original number (I.e. how many times you would like to have sex each month ). The next digit will always be a zero. The last two digits are your age!!! Here is why this formula works ... Taken as it is stated below, the formula is ( where X is the number of times you "want to go out" ) I used my birth year - 1957 - for the example ( and 1747 because I haven't had my birthday yet ) (((X * 2) + 5 ) * 50 ) + 1747 - 1957 = "3 digit number" this formula can be simplified to ( X * 100 ) + 250 + 1747 - 1957 i.e. saying (((X * 2) + 5 ) * 50 ) is the same as saying ( X * 2 * 50 ) + ( 5 * 50 ) or X * 100 + 250 now notice that 1747 + 250 = 1997 ( or plus 1748 = 1998 ) i.e. the year when your last birthday occurred - if you subtract your birth year ( 1957 ) from the year your last birthday occurred you will always end up with your current age ... So you can see that the formula really simplifies down to multiplying the number of times you "want to go out in a week" times 100 - to give you the leading digit(s) in a three ( or four ) digit number - and adding you age to it - My "NEW" formula simply multiplies X times 1000 instead of 100 and uses 747 or 748 instead of 1747 or 1748 because 5 * 250 is 1250 instead to 250 ...