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Politics : Did Slick Boink Monica? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jhild who wrote (5930)	2/11/1998 2:33:00 PM
From: MulhollandDrive	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 20981

I'm sure he does, but he quoted it almost simultaneously with TB's post. He's a techie, I think he's got 2 or 3 internet connections going plus his news feeds, but like I said when I heard him use "boink" on the air the other day, it got me wondering...

To: jhild who wrote (5930)	2/11/1998 2:43:00 PM
From: Zoltan!	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 20981

There's a whole stream of press stories at one of the Drudge links: freerepublic.com

To: jhild who wrote (5930)	2/11/1998 2:51:00 PM
From: Andrew N. Cothran	Respond to of 20981

From the New Testament Times (with apologies in advance to all devout Christians) Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had had an affair with a former worshipper. The scandal was begun when a 21 year old woman known as Mary claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem. Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time", that she was constantly talking about her relationship with Him, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child." In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial saying that "No sexual relationship existed", and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily." Independent counsel Kenneth Beelzebub immediately filed a brief with the Justice Department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments had been broken, and whether God had funneled any money to his illegitimate child through three foreign operatives known only as "Wise Men". Beelzebub has issued subpoenas to several angels who are rumored to have acted as go-betweens in the affair. Critics have pointed out that these allegations have little to do with the charges that Beelzebub was originally appointed to investigate: that God had created a large-scale flooding in order to cover up evidence in a failed land deal. In recent months, Beelzebub's investigation has already expanded to cover questions surrounding the large number of locusts that plagued God's political opponents in the last election, as well as claims that the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gommorah was to divert attention away from a scandal involving whether the giveaway of a parcel of public land in Promised County to a Jewish special interest group was quid pro quo for political contributions. If these allegations prove to be true, then this could be a huge blow to God's career, much of which has been spent crusading for a stricter moral standard and harsher punishment for wrongdoers. Indeed, God recently outlined a "tough-on-crime" program consisting of ten "commandments" which has been introduced in Congress in a bill by Representative Moses from the district of Crying in the Wilderness. Critics of the bill have pointed out that it lacks any provisions for the rehabilitation of criminals, and lawyers for the ACLU are planning to fight the "Name in Vain" command as being an unconstitutional restriction of free speech. (Courtesty of Donald at KITCO ID31868)