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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Buckey who wrote (4721)	2/20/1998 2:31:00 AM
From: bob	Respond to of 62549

Here is a newly discovered tale from DR.Seuss. STARR I ARE I'm here to ask as you'll soon see-- Did you grope Miss Lewinsky? Did you grope her in your House? Did you grope her beneath her blouse? I did not do that here or there-- I did not do that ANYWHERE! I did not do that near or far-- I did not do that Starr-You-Are. Did you smile? Did you Flirt? Did you peek beneath her skirt? Did you tell the girl to lie When called upon to testify? I do not like you Starr-You-Are I think that you have gone too far. I will not answer Any More-- Perhaps I'll go and start a war. The public's easy to distract-- When bombs are falling on IRAQ!!

To: Buckey who wrote (4721)	2/22/1998 2:23:00 AM
From: bob	Respond to of 62549

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, the guy tells Ford, 'Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.' So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: 'I want to hang out with Adam, the first man.' -- So the guy at the gates points Adam out to Ford. When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks 'Hey aren't you the inventor of woman?' Adam says: 'Yes.' 'Well,' says Ford, 'You have some major design flaws in your invention : 1) There is too much front end protrusion 2) It chatters at high speeds 3) The rear end wobbles too much 4) and the intake is too close to the exhaust.' 'Hmmmmm..' says Adam, 'hold on'. So Adam goes to the celestial computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it. He then says to Ford, 'It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours.' ------------------ What's the most important question to ask when you want to have safe sex? What time will your husband get home? ------------------ Why does everyone wants to work at the impotency clinic? It's a soft job. ------------------

To: Buckey who wrote (4721)	3/16/1998 9:20:00 AM
From: xclently	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Entrance to Heaven A woman knocked on the pearly gates, Her face was scarred and old, She trembled and she shook with fear, She was just about to fold. "What have you done...", St. Peter asked, "...to gain admission here?" "I've been a loyal AOL user sir..." "...for many and many a year." The pearly gate swung open wide, St. Peter rung the bell, "COME IN AND CHOOSE YOUR HARP...." he said "...you've had your share of hell." >> about this board.... I've tried to use the search vehicle to make sure that this wasn't already posted...I did not see that it was (Trying to avoid the Dr. Seuss debacle.) Frustrated folks, please remember that this is a joke board...my grandfather used to enjoy having new ones in the family so he could tell his old jokes all over again. This seems to happen here when the same joke is recycled! Remember, the person sending it is probably only trying to make you laugh!!! With tongue planted firmly in cheek (When the foots not in the way!) Peter ; ) (ta-dah!)