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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Redhead who wrote (4728)	2/21/1998 1:34:00 PM
From: xdll	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A. Nothing, yet. Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving? A: Turkey. Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey. Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from! Q: What is the best Iraqi job? A: Foreign Ambassador Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway. Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of $800,000. Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time." Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off. Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo? A: B-52...F-16...A-10 Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile? A: Aeroflot has killed more people. Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble. Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? A: So they can see their Air Force. Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss? A: He elected to receive.

To: Redhead who wrote (4728)	2/22/1998 2:44:00 AM
From: bob	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Top Ten Signs You're At A Redneck Wedding 10. REHEARSAL DINNER IS HELD AT HOOTER'S 9. INSTEAD OF "FRIENDS OF THE BRIDE OR FRIENDS OF THE GROOM," THE USHERS ASK, "FORD OR CHEVY"? 8. BRIDESMAIDS PICK TUBE TOPS, BRIDEGROOMS CHOSE TRAVIS TRITT T-SHIRTS. 7. PHRASE, "I DO" REPLACED BY "I HEARD THAT". 6. TENDER RENDITION OF THE WEDDING SONG PERFORMED BY CLEDUS T. JUDD. 5.THE MINISTER ASKS, "WHO GIVETH THIS WOMAN TO BE MARRIED?" AND SOME GUY IN THE BACK OF THE CHURCH STANDS UP AND YELLS, "EARNHARDT!". 4. RECEPTION CONVERSATION INCLUDES, "SO, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SINCE HEE HAW, MR. LINDSAY?". 3. SNACK TRAYS AT THE RECEPTION: VIENNA SAUSAGES AND NACHO CHEESE DORITOS. 2. PLANS FOR THE HONEYMOON EVENING INCLUDE TICKETS TO THE MONSTER TRUCK SHOW. **** AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN THAT YOU'RE AT A REDNECK WEDDING....... 1. SIGN AT THE FRONT OF THE CHURCH READS, "NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO PROBLEM!"