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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Rambi who wrote (8164)2/25/1998 4:00:00 PM
From: Janice Shell  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 71178
 
DON'T miss this:

jetcity.com

Slow to load, yes. But it deals with the sensitive, important, and timely issue of junk food addiction. I feel, personally, that this thread is far too frivolous, and addresses Addiction hardly at all. We need to talk about Addiction, because it interests me.



To: Rambi who wrote (8164)2/25/1998 4:48:00 PM
From: username  Respond to of 71178
 
Well, there you have it. That's pretty much the end of that, I guess. Can't argue with an automatic weapon...wait. Is that a case of French Chardonnay I see there? Is that TWO cases? What kind is that? Eh?



To: Rambi who wrote (8164)2/25/1998 7:46:00 PM
From: Thomas C. White  Respond to of 71178
 
Hello Mrs. Rambi from Juan.

You does not terrify bravely manly men of Paratour. Big Breast Rambisexicutiblondi. Gootchigootchi. Each one man in the manly great national world Paraguay with much the golds has this special same machineguns rifles kind of great luxury lot, we disports them like keychain or maybe silly touristy fannypack are much more useful than. I, Juan F. Gonzales Quiros Guillermo Hourquescos Saldiver, having face clucking horrible giant eating of the man pecking chickens and have yet also watch a horrible big snake death man slow throat down long in face and I begot to live another days yet still. You thinks I go now to water my trouser jockeys sniveling since one sorry little excuses of popgun for a machinegun that noise little bitty that like make? Here we used this the little Uziguns to trimming them the hedges when asks the wifes.

Hmmm. We have with here at Paratour this us badly nasty stink ugly mans who smell in stranger biggerly John Wayne sweat hats that are spitting always all gobs the floor the hour by and funny talk not understanded great men of Paratour never almost, we maintains tiny small wet slime cave to hold him aboding it three week now since last. Amusing we are smile now and big big, ha ha ha, why? I tells you now. He say that you Rambipussywussy knows him like your hand back!! If you do puts that weapons not down on pretty laps thigh thong long long leggies, later we have to take something maybe very bad measuring of where which you do not have no tasty lick finding tongue for sures.

Sometime we Paratour mens has a special rich man friendly who come inside deeply rain jungle from Medellin cities in, he have tastes to cause that we put ignite to very special demonstrations of fancy exotical hospitality and fun times for moneys. Most of hours times that he has tastings to watch like as to bulls fight they have Spain he seen then once yet still long, except with ferocious mean Chaca chicken a bull instead we catch in giant snare where we do that one of the small prettys girl napping kid of the villagers fight fearsome chicken with little pointy stick but big chicken always win, happy chicken big poor messy small girl bury under hotel many sadness. But he is interest biggest in new somethings find fine, too many chicken we are to think about the feeding now this ugly smell funny hat Dan mans to blood leeches very nothing disgusting greater than they live in the rivers, big special show one time only. Of courses, wonder if when you one behaves nicey girly cutie we will be to him pleasant more than still yet and how. What says you?



To: Rambi who wrote (8164)2/26/1998 11:32:00 AM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (5) | Respond to of 71178
 
Through the cold February shadows she slinks toward DAR, her flawless skin goosefleshed by the chill night air. She is dressed for more tropical climes in a lightweight black leather business thong and bolero with a matching briefcase containing her plastic travel Uzi. She is on her way to South America where the love of
her life is being held captive by the ugly, evil, but ultimately easily disposable Juan YadaYada SiSenor. She reaches for the worn stone around her neck, now on a stylish gold chain to more elegantly accessorize her outfit, and her thoughts turn to her grizzled, gnarled, unbearably sexy DryGulch. How long has it been, she sighs. She can only vaguely recall his wonderful odor, that masculine, excitingly musky blend of mule, sweat and moldy clothes.
And now, now, he may be the entree for some giant leeches' dinner, the equivalent of the Monday Night Football halftime show for a bunch of vaqueros ignorantes. Rambi's blood chills at the thought of his dear, dirt-smeared face being sucked off.
Well, it shouldn't be too difficult to teach these hombres not to mess with a real woman. And maybe DryGulch will finally notice her. But first, there is something she must do.

She glides into DAR unnoticed; all is quiet. Unhindered by the darkness, she moves toward the sleeping form of her alter ego, the Bane of Her Existence, and shakes her awake. "I have to leave for a short time. There's a minor situation that needs to be
dealt with."

"Huhhh--wha..." If ever this wimpy, useless creature were left on her own for longer than a post or two, she'd be dead.

"You're pitiful. Get a grip. Wake up. Anyone could have finished you off before you even reached for your weapon."

"Hunnnnnh. What time is it? Has the market opened?"

Rambi looks around, her perfect, patrician nose lifted. "This place is a mess. Do you ever discipline these people?"

The Cross She Has to Bear looks around, disoriented. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's disgusting. There's no order, no coherence, and you're about to lose your PG13 rating."

"Well, you have a jelly doughnut on your foot." The Albatross Around Her Neck snickers.

Disgusted, she leans over and removes the mushy remains from the stiletto heel of her thigh-high boot. It smells fishy. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. There are other threads for this type of behavior."

She Who Must be Endured looks sad. "I just want people to be happy and sweet."

"You are disgusting. No wonder people abuse you. I can't believe I have to leave you in charge while I'm gone."

The One Who Turns the Other Cheek hangs her head and mutters, "I don't like being in charge. I think it's silly. These are supposed to be grown-ups with well-developed social skills and some ability to differentiate between acceptable and inappropriate behavior. They're supposed to be capable of moral sense, aesthetic taste and intellectual judgment plus a certain degree of sophisticated wit.
I assume that, although I realize the ego knows only its own contents, most people here have achieved some self-knowledge, dependent, of course, on social factors and their proficiency at critical reflection."

She had to resist the urge to slap the Witless One silly. How had someone so wretched survived for so long, anyway?

"Just deliver this message from Rambi to the thread---clean it up, or I will."

"Ok, ok-Can I go back to sleep now?" whined the Amazingly Pathetic Wonder. Sweet Diana, Mother Goddess, was there any hope that the thread could survive even her brief absence?

"Yes-I should be back soon. This shouldn't take long. Oh and tell Thomas that anymore of that gootchigootchisexycutie stuff and I'll see him after I take care of Juan YadaYada."

She rose and walked to the door, turning back at the sound of giggling, "What is it?"

"You sat on the doughnut."