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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Mongo2116 who wrote (1573052)11/22/2025 6:41:26 PM
From: Maple MAGA 1 Recommendation

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longz

  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 1576329
 
Breaking: Hamas Breaches White House Perimeter

U.S. · Nov 21, 2025



WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump was rushed to an emergency bunker below the East Wing following reports that a member of Hamas breached the White House perimeter.

According to sources, the radical Islamic extremist claimed to have an appointment with the president, provoking a swift response from the Secret Service.

Witnesses reported that Secret Service agents swarmed the Oval Office and tackled the president to the ground, shouting, "Go, go, go! Fry Cook is secure!" before escorting him to the Presidential Emergency Operations Center. As he moved, Trump reportedly threw a defiant fist into the air and cried out, "Fight, fight, fight!"

"It all happened so fast," claimed White House intern Nathan Curtis. "I was bringing the president a Diet Coke when the Secret Service rushed in. It was just chaos. They knocked the drink out of my hand. The president is going to kill me."

Early details about the apparent attack were scarce, but White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt confirmed that the president is unharmed. "The president was rushed to an emergency bunker at approximately 2:15 this afternoon, when an Islamic extremist got past White House security," she said. "The White House is currently on lockdown until the Secret Service clears every room to make sure no further threat exists."

At publishing time, the Pentagon had responded to the incident by moving to DEFCON 3.



To: Mongo2116 who wrote (1573052)11/22/2025 6:42:24 PM
From: Maple MAGA 2 Recommendations

Recommended By
FJB
longz

  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 1576329
 
Trump Has Spoken: These 12 Crimes Of Sedition Are Now Punishable By Death

Crime · Nov 21, 2025



Provoked by Democratic lawmakers calling on the military to refuse orders from their commander-in-chief, President Donald Trump made several posts on Truth Social declaring a long list of crimes as sedition and punishable by death.

The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of crimes that will be met with swift justice:

  1. Fast-forwarding through his cameos in Home Alone 2 and The Little Rascals: "This is HATE SPEECH and LITERAL VIOLENCE. Thank you for your attention to this matter!"

  2. Getting his McDonald's order wrong: "I used to work there. I was a TREMENDOUS and TALENTED fry cook, everyone said so. I NEVER GOT AN ORDER WRONG!"

  3. Failing to rewind a videotape before returning it to Blockbuster: "If you keep doing this, we WON'T HAVE A COUNTRY ANYMORE!!! An example MUST BE SET!"

  4. Saying "China" without the proper Trump accent: "Anyone caught saying 'China' the dumb way will be considered a SPY and tried for TREASON!"

  5. Calling Washington's NFL team anything other than the Redskins: "I love all Indians. Except for Elizabeth 'Pocahontas' Warren. Wa-wa-wa-wa! That's an Indian noise. Make The Redskins Great Again!"

  6. Asking to see his tax returns: "I have been under audit for 95 years, and I know more about business than you do. That makes me smart, believe me."

  7. Wearing green army fatigues to an Oval Office meeting: "If you don't wear a suit, you are ROLLING THE DICE with WORLD WAR 3. Not good!"

  8. Crying during the taping of your late-night show: "America wants to laugh, not cry at you losers! Seditious!"

  9. Editing footage to make it look like he encouraged an insurrection to overthrow the U.S. government: "Don't be FAKE NEWS! I have already declared war on the BBC. And on Great Britain, which is not so great!"

  10. Saying his hands are small: "These lies cannot be allowed to stand — my hands are PERFECTLY NORMAL. Maybe the greatest hands. Many have said so."

  11. Stealing bars of soap from a Trump hotel: "Unacceptable. Those bars of soap are NOT CHEAP. We use great soap. So many stolen bars. Over time, it ADDS UP."

  12. Shooting him: "I shouldn't even have to say this, but shooting me is NOT RIGHT! TERRIBLER! Don't do it."