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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (8362)	3/1/1998 7:42:00 PM
From: username	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

[Zombie 3, Zombie 3.] [Zombie 3, Zombie 3.] [Yipes! Hey buddy! Izzat you? I thought you were fried, Gomer!] [Surfer, I got awy. This place id awful its a bigplace there are a lot of little houses not just the party she was doing mean things to me she tied mme up and she kept drooling shes real fat and she has red eyes and green stuff on her teeth and these socks that only goup to her kness and I go t relly scared the Plymouth woman satrted typing on her computer and I got looseand I got out over. No wi dont no whtat to do. I got my piece and everyting. Over.] [Zombie 5, are you in danger of being recaptured? Over.] [I don't think so. I'm in the kitchen. I'm behind the big oven. She doesn't know how to cook, I herd her ordering some iguana sweet-n-sour over.] [Zombie 5, copy that, Gomer, do you have your field pack? Over.] [Zombie 3, yes surfer she left it right by the door she said she wasnt interested in it only my parts. I grabbed it on the way out. Surfer it was horribel she started to] [Hey, buddy, don't get all worked up, OK? You're almost home free, keep your mind on the mission. Over.] [Zombie 3 ok sufer what do you think I sould do now. Over] [Zombie 5, OK, you have your field pack. Open it up and tell me exactly what you still have. Over.] [Zombie 3, OK Surfer. I have my piece and 8 clips. Kit, mess, field. Bag, sleeping. 1 box, matches, waterproof. 1 fuse, proximity. 1 package, C4. Shorts, boxer. Shorts, brief. Shirt, hawaiian. 1 can, beef, corned. 1 box, ding, rings. Socks, ordinary. 1 shovel, collapswable. 1 bag, tos, chee. That one looks like the ants got in it there all dead buut it doesnt look very good im thowoing it away. 1 bar, rope, soap on a. 1 brush, tooth. 1 tube, paste, tooth. 1 box, picks, tooth. 1 hat, chefs. 1 package, gum, nicotine. 1 clock, wind u p desn't keep good time. 1 bottle, tequila, cheap. 1 line, fishing. 12 hooks, fishing. 1 checker, spell. 1 font, serif. 1 site, porn, bookmarked under a different name.] [OK, hold it buddy. That's good. OK, Gomer, you remember the drill. Here's what I want you to do. Put on the chef's hat.] [Zombie 3, OK Surfer, I have it on. I'm a little bit scared. Over.] [Roger Zombie 5. Do you see the cook making her sweet-n-sour?] [Zombie 3, roger that. Over.] [OK, Zombie 5, casually walk over and put the tequila next to her order. Now put the nicotine gum and the chee-tos in the sweet-n-sour sauce. Over.] [OK, immean roger zombie 3 I did that ok the kid just took the order out hee hee nobody saw me this id funny I hope I dont satrt laughing. Over.] [Roger copy bracket that Zombie 5. OK, now wait, wait, wait.....what do you hear? Over.] [She's puking surfer. She's hurling tequila and chunks of iguana and chee-tos. She sounds really sick, Surfer. Over.] [OK, GOMER ! ! CLICK ON THE PORN SITE ! ! CLICK ON THE PORN SITE !!]

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (8362)	3/1/1998 8:39:00 PM
From: Janice Shell	Respond to of 71178

The woman yawned, looked at them all with her smouldering eyes, and said: "Do tus guys MIND? Eees eet too much to ASK??"

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (8362)	3/1/1998 10:31:00 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 71178

Eemelda, now dressed in a tight satin robe, stepped up to Juan and whispered something in his ear. He started to whisper something back, whereupon Eemerlda kicked him in the shin, and stalked back to the casa. Juan, telling "Boys, waiting for time Bubbin chickens is" trotted anxiously after her. Eemelda saw Vagina sitting on the front porch. "Tu steel here? What eess wanting?" Vagina merely shook her head. Eemelda snorted in disgust. Never the gringas new what they wanted, but she, Eemelda knew what she wanted, she wanted Bub. Bub with the Rippling bronze muscles and that smell, that animal smell she couldn't quite put her finger on. Ah, but she would like to sniff every inch of his body to try to figure it out. To waste an hombre like that on ... She shuddered. Not that she minded throwing a man to the chicken, no, chickens must eat too. But not Bub, he should be hers. Eemelda paced her bedroom. Juan crept around the door, but before he could open his mouth, Eemelda pounced on him. "Stupido, stupido, stupido," she spit out at him. "Tu no realeyesss how faluable thees Bub eess. We no make cheeken feed of heem. We sell heem to ... whoefferrrr want heem. Somebodies want heem, we haff heem, we makes moneys, we happys." Eemelda paused to see what effect her words had had on Juan.

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (8362)	3/2/1998 6:24:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 71178

Rambi finished off the Power Bar and drank from the canteen she had hanging from her thong next to the make-up case. Most of the men had wandered off to do whatever desperados did when they weren't desperading. The skinny leader with the seductively greased hair, the viscerally disturbing odor of which her delicate and sensitive nostrils could pick up even at this distance, appeared to be having a serious argument with himself, occasionally slapping himself across the face. Rambi decided this would be a good time to reconnoiter. She glided in her inimitably sensuous manner from fern to plant to tree until she reached the shack, where she could see a blank window cut roughly into the cheap wood. Dust motes swam in the dim light as she peered in and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but at last she located Bub sitting on an upturned pail and talking intently to a small pig. Rambi felt a thrill of excitement as she whipped her Essential Spanish for the Tourist from her thong. "Psssst," she hissed at Bub. "Su conchinito es el mas lindo, senor!" "Huh?" Bub looked up. He apparently didn't understand Spanish. Rambi sighed in disappointment, "I just told you your pig was pretty." "Oh, thanks." Bub looked a little confused. "Hey, can you get me out of heah?" "No but I've got something that will give you a fighting chance against that chicken." Rambi pulled her spare RPG-7 from her thong and held it up. Bub overturned the pail in his excitement at the sight of the weapon and in his haste to get to the window stepped on the pig who squealed angrily in protest. "Way cool," he cried. "Whoa, are you sure you can handle this? It packs one nasty recoil." Bub gave her an injured look. "They ain't made the ordnance Ah cain't handle, babe." Rambi nodded doubtfully and tossed the sleek and deadly instrument of death in to him. "Yeehaw," said Bub. "Bring on that rooster. And then lemme at that naked woman." "You are so sickly carnal," said Rambi, rolling her eyes. So thoroughly appalled by Bub's earthy and coarse view of the relationships between man and woman, a subject about which Rambi secretly held ethereal and elevated ideals, that she didn't hear the stealthy approach of the man behind her.....