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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: bob who wrote (4803)	3/3/1998 1:50:00 PM
From: bob	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Jane entered the kitchen one morning, reached to turn on the light, and it didn't work. After replacing the bulb, still no light. When John, her husband, came home, she said "Honey, the light switch is broken. Could you fix it for me please? To which John replied while displaying proudly the front of his TShirt, "Do you see 'Electrician' written on the front of this shirt?" Jane said nothing. Next day John came home and Jane said, "Honey, the cabinet door fell off today. Could you put it back on for me please?" To which John, of course, replied, "Do you see 'Carpenter' written anywhere on the front of this shirt?" Next day John came home and Jane said, "Honey, the water pipe under the sink is leaking. Could you fix it for me please?" Right! John replied, "Do you see 'plumber' written anywhere on the front of this shirt?" Next day John came home and the light switch was working, the cabinet door had been replaced, and the pipe wasn't leaking. Johnsaid, "I see you found some good repairmen". To which Jane replied, "No, I just called the neighbor next door." John asked, "Oh really? And how much did he charge?" Jane laughed and said, "He didn't charge anything. He said I could just bake him some "goodies" or we could trade it out in sex." To which, of course, John asked, "Well, what kind of "goodies" did you bake for him?" And Jane said proudly while displaying the front of her shirt, "Honey, do you see Betty Crocker written on here anywhere?" ********************************************************************** A priest and nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available. Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed. Nun: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm terribly cold. Priest: Okay, I'll get you a blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night. Priest: You're probably right...get up and get your own damn blanket.

To: bob who wrote (4803)	3/4/1998 5:04:00 PM
From: SJS	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Try this one: ________________________- Veteran Pillsbury spokesdoughboy Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Fresh was remembered in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including such notables as Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Doublemint Twins, and many Hostess Twinkies. The newly unveiled statue of Mr. Fresh at the Pillsbury corporate offices quickly became piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another in the oven. Mr. Fresh will be cremated in a special ceremony during a regular "OVEN Clean" cycle.