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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Early Bird who wrote (4832)	3/4/1998 6:47:00 PM
From: Chip Anderson	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

Just heard a great joke! INTC will open in the 70s tomorrow! Ha, Ha! um... guys? Why aren't you laughing, guys? It's just a joke... right? guys?

To: Early Bird who wrote (4832)	3/4/1998 7:22:00 PM
From: dewey holland	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Was Ross Perot covering for the President when he said; "That sucking sound is jobs going to Mexico"?

To: Early Bird who wrote (4832)	3/4/1998 7:24:00 PM
From: Steve LaRiviere	Respond to of 62549

Here's my hillbilly joke, A widow in the Ozarks was a little worried that her youngest son, Junior, who was already in his forties, would never get married. So using her network of mother-hen friends she managed to get her son engaged to the only available lady on the mountain. The only problem was that while the young lady had lots of experience, {She had 11 brothers} Junior had none. {No sisters} They had a lovely wedding, but on their honeymoon that night the new bride became very upset that Junior had no clue what to do. "Junior," she screamed "I'm not gonna let you do anything to me until you know what the hell you're doing!" She continued, "I want you to go down by the creek to that old oak tree, the one that has the knot hole right at waist high, and practice on it until you can honestly call yourself a man!" Hurt, but obedient, Junior marched down to the creek and did as he was told. Two or three weeks go by and seeing that he was practicing dutifully Junior's bride invites him to bed and tells him to show her what he's learned. "Yes, maam!" Junior screams, but runs right out the door. Puzzled, his bride wonders what he's up to, but he quickly comes back in holding a three foot long stick. "Ok, honey! Take off your clothes, get on the bed, and spread your legs wide!" "But," she asks worriedly, "What is the stick for?" "Hell," says Junior, "You don't really think I'm gonna stick my thing in there without checking for bees first, do ya?"