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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SJS who wrote (4870)	3/6/1998 6:07:00 PM
From: Steve LaRiviere	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Once upon a time a sailing ship crossing the Pacific struck a submerged land mass and started taking on water. The crew became very nervous {because they were very, very far from any known island} until an old sea hand told them about a nearby island that served as a way station and repair dock for passing ship. The Captain changed course immediately. When they got to the island, the local shipwright took a look at the ship and told the Captain "You've got a lot of damage here, you've broken structural members and I'll even have to re-keel her." The Captain asked "Well, how long will this all take?" The shipwright said "At least three months." "Three months! Well go to it. And please direct me and my men to the nearest hotel and pub." The shipwright sent them up the street. After the Captain checked into his room, he made his way to the pub. Once he entered the bar, he noticed there were no women anywhere to be found. He asked the bartender where the women were. The bartender told him that being on such a remote island, there were no women, only men that sailed ships and the men who repaired them. "But what does a man do when he needs, err, companionship?" the Captain asked. "Well, there's Ralph..." replied the bartender. "Hold it right there!" exclaimed the Captain. "I don't like that shit, I don't want to hear about that shit, and don't mention it again!" "Fine," replied the bartender, "Suit yourself." And the Captain left the bar. A month goes by and the Captain gets hornier and hornier. He goes back to the bar and asks the bartender. "Have there been any women landed in port?" "No." replies the bartender. "I am so horny I can't stand it!" answers an exasperated sea captain. "Well, like I said before, there's always Ralph..." offered the bartender. "And like I said before, I don't like that shit, I don't want to hear about that shit, and DO NOT mention it to me again!" and the Captain stormed out the door. Another month passes by and the Captain can't stand it any longer. He reenters the bar and weakly asks the bartender. "Have any women arrived?" "No." answers the bartender, simply. "I see." says the Captain, under his breath. He leans toward the bartender and asks quietly, "If I were to do the act with Ralph, would it just be the three of us that would know about it?" The bartender thought for a moment, and said "No, actually, seven would know about it." "Seven!" said the Captain, "Why seven?" "Well, there's you, there's Ralph, there's me, and then there's the four guys that has to hold Ralph down because he doesn't like this kind of shit either."