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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Keith Minler who wrote (4970)	3/14/1998 3:55:00 PM
From: Arthur Radley	Respond to of 62587

The Red Baron flew into Paris and landed his plane. Upon getting out of the cockpit he announced to the crowd,"I'm the Red Baron, the famous Flying German War Ace. Bring me the best limousine in all of Paris." They brought a long black limousine to the airport and the Red Baron climbed into the back seat and told the driver, "I'm the Red Baron, the famous Flying German War Ace. Take me to the best hotel in all of Paris." The driver proceeded to take the Red Baron to the finest hotel that Paris had to offer. The Red Baron got out of the limousine and as he approached the registration desk, he told the clerk, "I'm the Red Baron, the famous Flying German War Ace. Give me the best suite that you have in the hotel". The clerk gave him the best suite and when the Red Baron got to the suite he called down to room service and told them, "I'm the Red Baron, the famous Flying German War Ace. Send me up a bottle of your best champagne and the best and prettiest woman in Paris. Soon there was a knock on the door and when the Red Baron opened the door he found the prettiest woman he had ever see, standing with a bottle of champagne.He told the woman,"I'm the Red Baron, the Famous Flying German War Ace. Please come in and take off all your clothes and get into my bed." The woman quickly complied and when she had taken off all her clothes and climbed into the huge bed, the Red Baron uncorked the bottle of champagne and began to spray it all over her bush. And then he stepped back and pulled out his cigarette light and prepared to set her bush on fire. With this the lady jumped out of bed and screamed, "Who in the hell do you think you are, trying to set my bush on fire?" To which the Red Baron replied, "Look lady! I've told you and everyone else in this town, that I'm the Red Baron, the Famous Flying German War Ace. And when I go "down", I go "down" in flames."

To: Keith Minler who wrote (4970)	3/14/1998 4:17:00 PM
From: Arthur Radley	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62587

This fellow's wife had been begging to hire a maid, but he had insisted that he wasn't going to pay for a maid, since she was home everyday with nothing to do but keep the house clean. Shortly after this, he was out of town on a week long business trip,and when he called home during the middle of the day, a strange voice answered the phone. He asked who she was answering the phone and much to his surprise she told him she was the new maid that had just started to work that day. The fellow was outraged that his wife had gone against his wishes and hired a maid anyway. He told the maid, "put my wife on the phone". The maid paused for a minute and said ,"I'm sorry,sir. She is in her bedroom with a man and she told me not to bother her." With this information the fellow was totally outraged, so he told the maid, "How would you like to earn $5,000?" The maid said,"Sure! What do I have to do?" The fellow told her, "Do you see that gun cabinet in the den?" The maid replied,"Yes, I see it." He said, "Get my shotgun out and go into the bedroom and shoot both of them, if they are in bed." To which the maid replied, "No problem. Just wait a minute." Shortly, the fellow heard a shotgun blast and the maid came back to the phone and asked, "How do I get my $5,000 dollars and what do I do with the bodies?" The fellow told her, "Just drag them outside and throw them in the pool in my backyard" The maid put the phone down and she came back in just a few minutes and said, "Sir! There is no pool in your backyard." To this the fellow said, "Is this 555-1212?"