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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Pat W. who wrote (4979)3/16/1998 3:20:00 AM
From: Chip Anderson  Respond to of 62549
 
This list contain some of the funniest expressions I've _ever_ heard!

=======================

The following is a list of actual English subtitles used in films made
in Hong Kong. It was compiled by the filmmaker Su Friedrich.

* * * * *
I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

Gun wounds again?

Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits
and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough
examination.

Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

You daring lousy guy.

Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up
together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate
feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

Beat him out of recognizable shape!

I have been scared shitless too much lately.

I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair.

Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

How can you use my intestines as a gift?

This will be of fine service to you, you bag of the scum. I am sure
you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on
the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

=================

Chip
coolhistory.com
Free Market and Sector Charts and Analysis



To: Pat W. who wrote (4979)3/16/1998 6:33:00 PM
From: bob  Respond to of 62549
 
Young Punk

A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked,
multicolored
hair that's green, purple, and orange.
His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are
bare and
he's without shoes. His entire face and
body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are
big, bright
feathers. He sits down in the only vacant
seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him
for the
next ten miles.

Finally, the punk gets self conscious and barks at the old
man: "What
are you looking at you old fart......didn't
you ever do anything wild when you were young?"

Without missing a beat, the old man replies: "Yeah. Back
when I was
young and in the Navy, I got really drunk
one night in Singapore, and had sex with a parrot. I thought
maybe you
were my son."