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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Pat W. who wrote (4979)	3/16/1998 3:20:00 AM
From: Chip Anderson	Respond to of 62549

This list contain some of the funniest expressions I've _ever_ heard! ======================= The following is a list of actual English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong. It was compiled by the filmmaker Su Friedrich. * * * * * I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. Gun wounds again? Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken! Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! You daring lousy guy. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person. Beat him out of recognizable shape! I have been scared shitless too much lately. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold? How can you use my intestines as a gift? This will be of fine service to you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. ================= Chip coolhistory.com Free Market and Sector Charts and Analysis

To: Pat W. who wrote (4979)	3/16/1998 6:33:00 PM
From: bob	Respond to of 62549

Young Punk A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multicolored hair that's green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers. He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him for the next ten miles. Finally, the punk gets self conscious and barks at the old man: "What are you looking at you old fart......didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?" Without missing a beat, the old man replies: "Yeah. Back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore, and had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."