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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: HeyRainier who wrote (4990)	3/17/1998 9:27:00 AM
From: Bob Bryenton	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Canadian Eh? A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade." ___________________________________________________________ Why does a Canadian chicken cross the road? - To get to the middle. ___________________________________________________________ If America and Canada got into a war, where would all the draft dodgers go? ____________________________________________________________ What do you call a Canadian fireman? A Hoser (of course!) ________________________________________________ What's another name for a Mountie? - Canadian Bacon. _______________________________________________________________ When a Canadian thinks of Hell he wonders what the heating bill must be. __________________________________ At parties, a Canadian asks you upstairs so he can examine your caulking and get the name of your weather-stripping man. ____________________________________________ A Canadian woman burns her bra only if she's out of wood. ____________________________________________________ A Canadian considers it one of the great thrills of life when snow doesn't stick to his shovel. ________________________________________________ A Canadian woman doesn't worry if her shoes fit her feet as long as they fit in the plastic bag she carries them in from October to April. ____________________________________________ In Canada we have two Seasons...six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling. ________________________________________ How do you empty a swimming pool of Canadians? - "Excuse me, could everyone please get out of the pool?" _______________________________________________________________ One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!" _______________________________________________________________ The first question an Albertan asked the tour guide, when they approached the Eiffel Tower, was "How many barrels a day does it produce?" _______________________________________________________________ An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."