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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jay who wrote (5177)	4/1/1998 11:50:00 AM
From: JakeStraw	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

A young fellow walks into a talent agent's office and says that he wants to break into show-biz. So the agent says, "Okay kid, show me what you do." The kid tells some jokes, does a little soft shoe, sings a bit, does an acrobatic act with an ottoman, and is good enough to impress the agent. "Great kid.. Just great!" says the agent "I can do things for ya! I think I can get you a show on TV" (this was in the early sixties). "By the way, what's your name?" The young man, proud and excited, exclaims "Penis Van Lesbian." "Scuse me?" questions the agent. "My name is Penis Van Lesbian." again replies the young man. "Hey, I'm sorry kid, you're gonna have to change your name. Nobody is going to hire you with a name like Penis Van Lesbian." Well the young man is crestfallen but steadfastly refuses to change his name, so he leaves to find another agent. A few months later he returns to the same agent. "Hey kid.. Good to see you again. Are you still looking for work? Have you changed your name?" With his head hanging low the young man replies, "Yes. Every agent in town turned me down because of my name, Penis Van Lesbian. So I've changed it. "Great kid. Great. What's your new name?" "Dick Van Dyke."

To: Jay who wrote (5177)	4/1/1998 10:15:00 PM
From: T.K. Allen	Respond to of 62567

With regard to the flight control software bit: This is no joke. One of my oldest friends was lead programmer for one of the most commonly used air traffic control software packages. He absolutely refuses to fly. But, on a lighter note: A dumb-looking guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey. He then makes a circle with the thumb and fingers of his left hand, sets his left hand on the bar thumbside up, and pours the whiskey into the circled hand. He immediately orders another shot of whiskey. As soon as the bartender hands it to him, he makes a circle with the thumb and fingers of his left hand, sets his hand on the bar and pours the drink into his hand. He immediately orders another shot of whiskey. The bartender is puzzled but gets the man his drink. When the bartender comes back with the drink he says, "Buddy, maybe this is none of my business but will you explain to me why you are pouring perfectly good whiskey into your left hand?" The man leans forward and whispers to the bartender, "I'm trying to get my date drunk".