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Strategies & Market Trends : A.I.M Users Group Bulletin Board -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: THE FOX who wrote (4407)	4/2/1998 6:20:00 AM
From: OldAIMGuy	Respond to of 18928

Hi Bob, Are you thinking of changing it to Bob Lichello?? Sorry for the bad prank, I just couldn't resist. I'd received this incredibly well written spoof on Intel early yesterday morning and it got me fired up for the day. I believe this one originates with Jim Bertonis, a fellow investor in VLSI. Here it is: Intel Alert SANTA CLARA, Calif., April 1, 1998 (Reuters) - Intel Corporation in sweeping disclosure today revealed that all X86 microprocessor generations since the 80286 16 bit design have been nothing more than parallel processors containing multiple copies of the 8088 Microchip. This includes the 80386, 486, Pentium, Pentium Pro and Pentium II. Although speed has followed gate geometry in an ever increasing spiral upward in performance, the actual design of an Intel microprocessor has remained largely unchanged for nearly fifteen years. Present at the news briefing were several Intel corporate officers, including CEO Andrew Grove, financial analysts and the press. "How else do you think we have been able to earn over 30% after tax operating in the semiconductor industry" barked Mr. Grove to a visibly disturbed Tom Kurlak, semiconductor analyst at Merrill Lynch. "We made money, more money than any electronics company will ever see again this side of the century mark" he continued. A reporter then asked a now nervous Andy Grove if that meant AMD could have saved the hundreds of millions it spent developing the K6 by simply stepping the 8088 design they already were licensed to produce in 1982. "That's the logical conclusion you may draw" replied Grove. And for the first time showing a hint of a smile he added "And they didn't have to even sue us either." Dennis Carter, vice president, Intel corporate marketing provided the following formulas: " A 80286, that was 6-12 8088s. The 386 was about 24, and the 486 depending on generation was from 48 to 256 8088s. In the Pentium stage we took a quantum leap, and we began with 2048 8088s, continuing to 8192 8088s with the Pentium Pro. Pentiums IIs also contain 8K 8088s. In the new Merced we will have anywhere from 64K to 256K 8088s. And the new Celeron, targeted for the low-cost PC market, will actually have 512K 4004s. We actually went back to our original 4 bit design for that, and found that by stacking the chips one on top of another, we could offer a much lower cost product. Kind of like a celery stick. The original microprocessor inventors came out of retirement to help us with that one". Apparently Hewlett Packard was prepared to back out of their joint project on Merced with Intel after being told of the microprocessor they were planning, but HP CEO Lew Platt changed his mind after a personal appeal from Andy Grove eschewing the "simplicity and beauty" of the architecture. Rick Belluzzo, number two man at HP who was widely regarded as the successor to CEO Platt, apparently left in disgust to become CEO at troubled Silicon Graphics Inc., saying he preferred making microprocessors the "hard way". The only real challenge appeared to be the development of the interconnect method, and Intel engineers quickly devised a bonding apparatus employing copper wire interconnects. The only company that was able to discover Intel's design in fifteen years was IBM, and Intel quickly granted IBM lifetime rights to all copper wire bonding technology, and in fact allowed IBM to patent the copper technology as its own. But IBM's agreed silence only lasted until 1998, and Intel said the only reason they are now disclosing the "multiple 88" architecture is because IBM has told them they intend to employ it for the new K6 design they will fab with AMD. A bewildered National Semiconductor, which now produces the "Cyrix Inside" CPU had no comment other than "Huh?", and executives at IDT's Centaur unit were reportedly booking tickets to various Latin American destinations. REUTERS Rtr 24:37 03-31-98 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hope you enjoyed this one as well!! Best regards, Tom