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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Charliss who wrote (19693)	4/3/1998 6:09:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte	Respond to of 108807

My gripe is about language, not sex. Substitute "sexual identity" for "gender" and I'm happy. I'm a language curmudgeon. Unless you go to unauthorized texts like that heresy the American Heritage Dictionary, "gender" is a narrow term reserved for categories, particularly in grammar. I get all soggy&hard to light when I see the term commandeered by those who'd water down the language. Of course, after reading the eye-opening stories about sexual identity, my stock joke about being a lesbian trapped in a man's body may be in questionable taste. But that doesn't stop me near often enough...

To: Charliss who wrote (19693)	4/3/1998 6:39:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Charliss, I'm enjoying your thoughts and your writing very much. I reach no conclusions about most of these issues as I tend to let people decide what is right for their own lives. I do think that it gets more complicated than your last sentence, which is beautiful, but doesn't address the fact that our lives are not lived in a vacuum, that sometimes, to live the "true" life may bring unbearable and destructive pain to others. And then I'm not sure where personal responsibility comes in. We had a young teenage girl as a babysitter when the boys were young, a very lovely, bright girl. Her father decided that he was really a woman and that he was going to pursue a change and go live with his male lover; he did not consider himself gay--he felt he was a woman in love with a man. Now this may sound courageous for this man but it was a devastating life event for a teenage girl grappling with all the sexual confusion of a teen. She already had a step-mother, and suddenly she had no father; nothing was as it appeared. When we saw her a few years later, she was pretty screwed up. I have a real problem with this man's actions. We make decisions and commitments in our lives that have consequences, and they're not always easy ones. Sometimes dreams may need to be deferred and sometimes they just don't come true. I think we need to be careful in our attempt to be tolerant and loving, not to absolve anyone of personal responsibility for their actions. Life just isn't always about finding personal happiness and fulfillment.