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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: John Messbauer who wrote (5277)4/11/1998 10:52:00 AM
From: SER  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62549
 
One day, Peter complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I
guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "don't do that.
There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything
quicker & cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your
urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you
what you can do about it and it only costs $10.00." Peter figured he
had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to
the drug store.

Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the
$10.00. The computer started making some noise and the various
lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small
slip of paper which read:

You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was and how it would change medical science forever, he began
to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give
it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample
from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter.
To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went
back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the
sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual
noises and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm.
Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant-twin girls.
They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off,
your tennis elbow will never get better.