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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: greenspirit who wrote (20563)	4/17/1998 12:57:00 AM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Michael, using a belt is much more cruel than spanking a child with your open hand. There is pretty much unanimous agreement that no child should EVER be hit with a belt, or any other object. It really is abusive. Do you think your child feels he or she is being beaten with a belt? No, a child feels the parent is out of control and torturing them, and the belt is just the instrument of torture the parent uses. You have constructed a dichotomy where a belt is different from the hand of love and trust you use to cuddle your children, but really, they are experiencing YOU hurting them, so the distinction you draw is a meaningless one to them. And you are violating their love and trust of you. You say that when you were a child, you knew when you were really bad that you were going to get a beating. That means you already knew right from wrong, and knew what the consequences were for your misbehavior, and did it anyway. So what exactly did the beatings accomplish? Have you ever looked down another layer, back into your childhood, and tried to remember what feelings you had when you did bad things? Were you really angry? Rebellious? Were you trying to get attention from your parents? A child who is misbehaving is expressing some emotion, acting out to get attention of some kind. A beating is just not that answer, and I bet if you really tried to remember yourself as a child, you might get some deeper insights into the whole issue.