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Politics : Did Slick Boink Monica? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jlallen who wrote (14691)	4/24/1998 10:25:00 PM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 20981

JLA, All the Reagan family members have stated publicly at one time or another that their family generally lacked the very basic components of what family is or should be. I would also echo an earlier comment on this thread which agreed that it is far from unknown for adoptive parents to reject their adopted children, and in some rather hideous ways. There have been a few fairly recent and highly publicized cases and many, many cases that no one ever hears about. I agree wholeheartedly that it is indeed inelegant and rather base to parade one's family skeletons and dirty linen to the general public and any and all available ears. Holly

To: jlallen who wrote (14691)	4/24/1998 10:49:00 PM
From: WalleyB	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 20981

JlA, Make sure you talk it out long and gently with your kids before you ship them off to boarding school. My sister was an honor roll student from 1st grade all the way to middle school. My parents like you didn't like what they saw in the public schools, and all the more so after seeing what it was doing for me, so they sent her to Middleburg VA for four years of high school at Notredame Academy. She absolutely hated it there and pined for mom and dad until the feelings were rung out of her. Then she found ways to drown her sorrows. She went on to collage but never got a degree. She's working on one now but it'll be tough. I don't think boarding school is the ticket. Local private schools would be a lot better since you never give the possibility of cutting the bonds a chance. Your child may be going there for good reasons, other children are going there because they are not trustworthy and parents want them under constant supervision - without having to expend the time. The influence is not perfect just because you are paying top dollar. just something to think about. jim

To: jlallen who wrote (14691)	4/25/1998 8:56:00 AM
From: Janice Shell	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 20981

Michael Reagan, for one, made if very clear (for years) that he hated boarding school and wanted to live at home, where he was allowed to stay only on weekends. But Ron and Nancy couldn't even be bothered to give him a bedroom: he slept either in the living room or in Patti and Ron's playroom. Nice. He was a major disciplinary problem at school, but this isn't really surprising. Boarding school isn't for everyone. I wanted to go, but my parents wouldn't send me. I know people who liked it, I know people who hated it. And the ones who hate it generally don't do very well, and come to resent their parents for having made them leave home.

To: jlallen who wrote (14691)	4/25/1998 5:02:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 20981

Jlallen, it is really hard for me to imagine sending children away to boarding schools just to make sure they get into the best colleges. You would essentially be sacrificing proper child development--the child's emotional well being--for the purely intellectual. But it is only really healthy children who can fully benefit from an excellent education, as Jim Huntsberry was pointing out to you. The teenage years are very difficult ones emotionally for children, and while the children do not always act like they do not need their parents, that kind of gradual breaking away and becoming independent is really something they need to be able to accomplish with their parents very close by. It seems to me that you would be taking what sounds like a very close family and breaking it apart. Not only would your oldest child lose a lot of family closeness, but the younger siblings would also go through a rough adjustment and an actual grief period. Have you thought of providing tutors in subjects you don't think are covered adequately by your local public schools? Have you actually visited the high school, and determined what it offers in the way of honors and advanced placement classes? They will have a list of all the colleges that children have attended after going there. Have you looked at it? What about sending your older children to special interest/computer/academic enrichment camps during the summers? I think there are a lot of things you could do to ensure their academic success without choosing boarding school. Boarding schools are full of children from upscale but very dysfunctional homes. They are rife with drugs and sex of every kind. It is hard for me to imagine you essentially turning your children over to the supervision of school officials who will do a much less thorough job of rearing your children with your values than you would do yourself.