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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: taxikid who wrote (5378)	4/25/1998 10:07:00 PM
From: Egolpi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

This one's long, but your patience may be rewarded: An old mountaineer comes out of the hills of West Virginia and arrives at a Dentist's office with a severely abscessed tooth. The dentist explains to the oldtimer that he needs to perform a root canal, but must first inject the gum with Novocaine. The mountain man objects, saying "No needles, doc, do what you need to do, but I don't want any needles-they get you hooked!" So the dentist proceeds to graphically describe the terrible pain that could occur should he strike a nerve when the area doesn't have the benefits of anesthesia. "Well doc," the grizzly fellow says, "That sounds like the third most awful pain in the world." "Third-most?", said the dentist, "what could be worse?" "Well, a couple of years back", the mountaineer says, "I was in the deep woods laying bear traps, when the nature called me in a bad way. I squatted down to relieve myself, and I dropped a load right onto a trap, which sprung up and caught hold of my family jewels." "Gracious!" the dentist exclaimed, "That has to qualify as the worst pain in the world." "Nope", the old guy said, "second worst". "What could possibly be worse that that?" asked the dentist. "Well," the mountaineer said with a grimace, "When the trap caught hold I started a'runnin', and when I hit the end of that chain..."

To: taxikid who wrote (5378)	4/28/1998 10:54:00 PM
From: bob	Respond to of 62558

An old lady came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing." **************************************************************