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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	4/30/1998 12:58:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Never mind.

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	4/30/1998 1:13:00 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Milk, The Current results are: 1.Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf, 164598 votes 2.Leonardo DiCaprio, 7331 votes It's no contest... ;Yeah, Hank.

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	4/30/1998 2:40:00 PM
From: OldAIMGuy	Respond to of 62549

Hank got my vote! Can I model for Hank??? Tom the balding Cheesehead!

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	4/30/1998 2:59:00 PM
From: Milk	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well, who should he see out there, at the back end of a long line of cabs but his old buddy who hadrefused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman walked past his old friend to the front of the line and got into the first cab in the line "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob once we get there?" "What? Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got out and went to the next cab in line where he repeated his question. Again, he got the reply, "Get out!" He continued down along the long line of cabs, getting into each one and asking the same question with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman said, "OK", and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs-up sign to each driver. --

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	4/30/1998 3:39:00 PM
From: Frank A. Adessa	Respond to of 62549

Nobody made this guy up, Hank is from Howard Stern which millions of people listen to every morning...

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	5/1/1998 9:33:00 AM
From: Milk	Respond to of 62549

(old) A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?" she asks. The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?"

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	5/1/1998 1:12:00 PM
From: Robert Wierdsma	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Hank the dwarf etc. Lots of disclaimers showing up now. >> REMEMBER: ONE VOTE PER BROWSER. ROBOT VOTES WILL BE SUBTRACTED FROM THE TOTAL. The Online Beauty Poll has no influence on the editorial decisions PEOPLE Magazine makes in selecting its Fifty Most Beautiful. << Look for yourself: >http://www.pathfinder.com/people/50most/1998/vote/

To: Milk who wrote (5419)	5/3/1998 12:44:00 PM
From: Greg Jung	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Hank now has his own button and is ahead of Leonardo 207,935 to 12449. This is the drunken dwarf who is often on the Howard Stern show, I believe. (I don't know the first name but Angry, Drunken Dwarf is certainly the rest of it.) Hopefully he will live long enough to receive his award. greg