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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Milk who wrote (5495)	5/6/1998 2:29:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

*********************** Original Message *********************** On May 6, 1998 12:18, Joe Blaustein wrote: Message 4347451 To: +j garcia (729 ) From: +Joe B. Wednesday, May 6 1998 11:43AM ET Reply # of 731 Do I have to get Mother's Day cards for my apistogramma njsseni's that just had babies? I think fish are above commercialism but I don't want to hurt their feelings. Message 4347485 Talk : Coffee Shop : Ask Me \| Previous \| ------ \| Respond \| To: +Joe B. (730 ) From: +j garcia Wednesday, May 6 1998 11:45AM ET Reply # of 731 Naw, not unless Hallmark offers very small, waterproof cards. \| Previous \| ------ \| Respond \| Well, do you make small water proof cards. Thank You, Joe Blaustein ******************************************************************** 05-06-98-000851 Hi Joe, Thanks for your note and your request for information about cards. Your interest in Hallmark is appreciated. Although we do have "Itty Bitty Greetings" available for various occasions, they are not waterproof. (We also have "Little Mermaid" cards for various occasions as well.) Perhaps you could prop the cards up outside the aquarium for the fish to see. Hope this helps Thanks, Jan Scott Hallmark Consumer Affairs

To: Milk who wrote (5495)	5/6/1998 8:18:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62569

A man walks into the woman's section of a department store and tells the sales clerk he wants to buy a bra for his wife. "What type of bra?" asked the clerk "Type?" inquires the man "There is more than one type?" "There are three types." replies the clerk "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?" Still confused the man ask "What is the difference in them?" The clerk responds "It is really very easy. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two guys are in a bar discussing their sex lives. One guy says to the other, "How's your sex life buddy?" The other guy says, "Not too good. Every time me and the missus have sex, she loses interest half-way through. It's very frustrating." The first guy says, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to have the same problem, but I found a cure. I hid a starter pistol under the bed. When she started to run out of steam, I simply fired the starter pistol. It gave her such a fright that she got all excited, and couldn't get enough. I wish I'd done it years ago." The other guy says, "OK, I think I'll try that." The next day they are back in the bar again. The first guy says, How did you get on with the starter pistol?" The other guy says, "Don't talk to me about starter pistols! Last night we were having a little 69. As usual, she lost interest halfway through, so I fired the starter pistol, just like you said." The first guy says, "So what happened?" The other guy says, "She bit my dick, crapped on my face, and a man came out of the closet with his hands up!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A hunchback had taken some time to find a girlfriend and got married soon after finding the girl of his dreams. After a short honeymoon the hunchback and his new wife bought a flat. The hunchback arrived home from work and saw a new WOK on the table. He went through to the kitchen where his wife was cooking and said "hi honey, are we having Chinese tonight?" "No", she replied that's an ironing board for your shirts.